Discussion of the Day
How do those who are married work through their differences?
Natalia J 52132101-Oct-24
Communication is key to handling various values in a partnership. There are many long-lasting relationships among people of differing political or religious viewpoints. You might give your marriage a chance to survive if you can properly discuss and disagree. What are your thoughts? How do those who are married work through their differences?
Comments
  • Wanda 1526192
    Communication and trust are the two keys to a happy relalionship without these two compnents you have nothing
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    • Boycee
      I don't question my wife's choices cause she chose me
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      • The ghost
        Been married over 33 years and still not sure.
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        • Grommie
          never let the sun go down on your anger
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          • Missy Wyld
            background - been together with my man for 32 years (not married) ...but I think we still qualify to ans :) respecting each others differences, know when to back down (as in don't sweat the smalll stuff/pick ur battles) - not every disagreement needs to turn into WW3. def don't let things stew, if there is an issue, then talk it out... me personally I like to see my man happy (& he likes to see me happy) so we usually both strive to see each others needs are met. So these later years, we rarely hav disagreements, as we know each other very well...and TBH, I don't have alot of energy to argue things that, really at the end of day...mean shit... Communication though, isnt everything, if u cant learn to back down on issues, and always need to be 'right' you wont last long either. Love is really the key, if you love your man so much, you often dont really care if you have to back down & give in to their needs, (but remb they are also wanting to do this for u) so it ends up bein a win/win really. So compromising is also a key. We find ourselves often say nah if u want this or that lets go with that :) then we laugh, and say OK ur call next time, type of thing. Oh & lastly HONESTY!! If u cannot be honest about ur feelings/needs/wants etc...then u got nothing...and ur relationship will fail eventually... Hope that helps..
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            • Vanessa 1382853
              Oh my word before the page opened I had already said communication and there it was already. So yes you must do so in order to have things go smoothly if you don't communicate with one another you will never be able to resolve things that could just be something minor! Or a simple misunderstanding because of lack of communication can turn into something that would've been nothing at all!
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              • Elizabeth A 807208
                I was married for 63 years and learned to talk things out rather than holding things in and stewing over whatever it was. My husband passed away nearly two years ago, and I still miss him. I am so glad that we were able to work things out over the years and I have no regrets now.
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                • Rose S 88496
                  Gosh I’m still trying to find the answer to this question after 50 years of marriage 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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                  • Angela 1484008
                    Tolerance and not being right or the winner everytime
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                    • Priscilla R 316016
                      Keep the communications open and never go to bed angry - always kiss and make up
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                      • Robert L NZ
                        WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED 52+ YEARS AND ARGUE AT LEAST ONCE EVERY DAY BUT NEVER OVER ANYTHING IMPORTANT. IF IT IS MAJOR WE SIT DOWN DISCUSS IT ,MAKE A DECISION AND ACT ON IT ASAP. USUALLY WITHIN IN 24 HOURS AND NEALY ALL THOSE DECISIONS HAVE WORKED OUT FOR THE BEST OVER THE YEARS. WE WENT OUT FOR 6 WEEKS GOT ENGAGED MARRIED IN 6 MTHS STILL GOING STRONG. WE CLICKED!!!
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                        • Pamela G
                          You certainly did.
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                      • Dimitri T 100433
                        good communication & agreeing to differ
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                        • Pam G 449028
                          Good communications and respect
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                          • Paula J 395266
                            You do need to have common beliefs about serious matters such as children, religion, pets and honesty. Too many people today marry with the only consideration being how good it will look on Tic Tok. If you have a strong foundation and fundamentals in common anything else is pretty trivial such as I go for The Blues while he cheers for The Maroons. I can deal with that, especially since The Blues won this year.
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                            • Elvira D 70287
                              For starters it's not a secret to know when you get married you will both come with differences, it depends on the individual how prepared and commited they are to work through their differences and understand each has their own opinion and accept it. Also in a marriage difference can make a marriage more interesting and not boring when you can share your differences with your partner.
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                              • Brian 1572073
                                Communication and comprising
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                                • Catalina
                                  Unfortunately I never succeeded to work through the differences...it must be mutually done...
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                                  • writerrochelle
                                    Years ago I learned that if you don't do 3 things, it will never work, even if 1 of them are missing. My 3 things are: Talk, Trust and Touch! ;-D
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                                    • Imperia S
                                      By keeping the vow they made when they got married, "" I take You,,,,,,for better or worse, for richness and poorness, sickness or in health, till death do us part,,,, it kept me going for 55years 6 months and 6days, until Cancer took him away, we always spoke not yelled about our problems, and never went to bed in a bad mood or anergy at one another., all difficulties can be worked out, if you really believe in each others
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                                      • Paula J 395266
                                        Sorry you lost him after so many years, but congratulations on getting to almost 56 years. I have clocked up 58 this year.
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                                      • Imperia SPaula J 395266
                                        Congratulations on your 58years, well done
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                                    • Mary 1573883
                                      By communicating and if you find it hard to do with spoken word. Then write it down. It makes a huge difference in what you say because you have to think before you write it down. It cuts out all the yelling replacing it with a less aggressive exclamation point. Etc.
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                                      • Taffy
                                        Together!!!!!! 53 yrs together and she is still right!!! and God has nothing to do with it!
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                                        • Pat C 618241
                                          As we were over 50 when we got together, it was just a matter of hearing both sides but certainly never getting heated in discussion. Actually I can't remember anything we have not agreed to after clearing the air about the matter.
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                                          • Chelce 1577028
                                            communication and trust is the key without trust there's pretty much no relationship 💯
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                                            • writerrochelle
                                              I always say you need to Talk, Touch and Trust! 2 out of 3 isn't bad! ;-D
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                                          • Alan M 394500
                                            having been married since 21 years of age it was a pretty steep learning curve. Fortunately, my wife was quite understanding & tolerated my exuberant youthfullness. Our start was good & then the first child came along. This changed the dynamics in our household very quickly, but for the good I might add. So it is a matter of several things, perseverance, tolerance & of course , love & understanding. It worked.
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                                            • Peter 1532117
                                              Listen to your partner, be supportive and give her some small gifts occassionally
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                                              • Veronica A 1018647
                                                God's our anchor, 43 yrs and still going strong with God's grace
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                                                • Sandra 1575376
                                                  Communication
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                                                  • Henrietta
                                                    Have read the comments with interest. I was 2 months from turning 16 when I met my husband at the local swimming pool. I was keen on one of the attendants but the one that walked me home was to be my future husband. The following day (Saturday) I ad to do some shopping at the local shopping centre & lo & behold, who do I see but my future husband (Dave). He couldn't remember the house number of the house where I lived, so he was riding his bike, hoping that by riding around, that it would jog his memory of where I lived. I called out to him & that was the start of us becoming a couple. That was the 30th June & on the 12th July, I asked him if we could get engaged as I knew he was going into the English army for 2 years National Service. Luckily, he said "yes" but I didn't an engagement ring until my 16th birthday which was in the August just prior to him doing his duty. We remained engaged until Dave got demobbed 2 years later which gave me time to save for my "bottom drawer" & to save up some money. The outcome of all this, is that last month we celebrated our 64th Wedding Anniversary. I can't say that it has always been easy but those 2 years being engaged gave us time to become friends, we've always tried to compromise & to talk things through. Afterall, we are each individuals with different opinions so you have to take this into consideration. We are both now in our 80's, do things together, as he does the cooking & I do food preparation, such as vegies etc. Still very happy to this day. Hope I haven't bored anyone with the story of my marriage.
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                                                    • Sandra H 325339
                                                      My husband and I celebrated our 54th wedding anniversary in January this year. Marriage can be a very up and down ride, just hang on tight and all will be fine. I lost him in August unfortunately to cancer. He was 78.
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                                                  • Becky S 416633
                                                    Communication, compassion, compromise.
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                                                    • writerrochelle
                                                      Talk, Touch and Trust is my motto! ;-D
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                                                  • Jenny L 591463
                                                    Being on the same page helps and talking, being honest with each other. Being similar in nature. We both married poorly the fist time around but we are happy and are still in love. Been married for 16 years this year. Have almost split due to out side interferences but some how because of those times we are now stronger together and we aren't going to let those times come between us as we would then be miserable without each other and certainly very lost and sad. We know where each other stands with those issues and well they are better left alone and forgotten because there is no fixing them and there's no solutions either, rather sadly.
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                                                    • SUSIE W
                                                      Get used to the idea there will be good and bad times, a lot of the bad is due to difference of opinion. Try and keep it calm and talk it over
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                                                      • Peter 1546748
                                                        Get divorced
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                                                        • Cathy S 315728
                                                          There are sooooooooooooo many things to keep it together. What ever we've done musta worked. 44years together 44 more to come :)
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                                                          • Sonya F 68771
                                                            Money , politics or religion has never been a problem just my in-laws caused our arguments but we are still married after 40years
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                                                            • Empress
                                                              some things are unforgivable. Divorce.
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                                                              • Ann 1498966
                                                                My husband and I met late in life, so we already learned from mistakes we made in other relationships. We listen to each other and think about what the other has to say and apologize if we are wrong. Fortunately, we don't have very many disagreements.
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                                                                • boy blunder
                                                                  I never try to win an argument with my wife if I did i know i would be worse off so I concede Happy wife happy life so they say yes getting married was my favourite mistake
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                                                                  • writerrochelle
                                                                    "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" ;-D
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                                                                  • Liane H writerrochelle
                                                                    Ain't that the truth Rochelle ! ;))
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                                                                • Shawn B 1061185
                                                                  Complete, open, honest communication, compromise, admit fault and move on.
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                                                                  • lisa 1490612
                                                                    I'm never right, but I just grin & put it behind
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                                                                    • Adreanne 1312158
                                                                      The two “c’s” communication & compromise together can work well!
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                                                                      • Robert T 597718
                                                                        yes
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                                                                        • Susan 1570865
                                                                          I said when I was a child I would never marry and I never did. I have a couple of partners and I put my point of view across and that was that. Later I found if I said nothing abd when the time was right I used the same derogatory terms he used on me back to him no arguments. He died 12 years ago and I have never had a relationship since.
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                                                                          • Jania S
                                                                            same as always since Adam and Eve
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                                                                            • Gaza
                                                                              I'm never right, but I just grin & bear it.
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                                                                              • Preeti Jeet 1551899
                                                                                Learn to apologise or see more drama 🤣
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                                                                                • Judy T 470524
                                                                                  Never go to bed angry....just kidding. I couldn't make mine work as he wanted to be a stay at home alcoholic & I wanted to be the wife of someone who wasn't a stay at home alcoholic 😉
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                                                                                  • Laura W 363255
                                                                                    Give & take, you can agree to disagree about something without making a big deal of it
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                                                                                    • Paul B 522937
                                                                                      Get a divorce
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                                                                                      • Darren S 116121
                                                                                        talk,give and take and compromise
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                                                                                        • Robin L 79437
                                                                                          compromise
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                                                                                          • Cynthia W 780047
                                                                                            Talk and accept the difference if you want to be together
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                                                                                            • Virginia 1571947
                                                                                              No difference between married relationships and simply living together relationships in law after a certain time period has passed fir lots
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                                                                                              • Virginia 1571947
                                                                                                Talk
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                                                                                                • doug p 631197
                                                                                                  No difference between married relationships and simply living together relationships in law after a certain time period has passed fir lots of countries. If you're lucky and can communicate freely then it's just an open discussion that's needed.Sadly the majority of relationships can't freely communicate hence why there are so many relationship splits.
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                                                                                                  • Glenys H 310155
                                                                                                    Communication and meeting half way, you have to have a degree of give and take.
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                                                                                                    • Joy L 68767
                                                                                                      we have talks, we have shouting fights. but the main thing is we love each other faults and all. 43 years and still going.
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                                                                                                      • Denise C (Qld)
                                                                                                        Depends on the circumstances. Somethings aren't forgiveable. It takes more than communication to make a relationship work. Love, loyalty, consideration, sacrifice
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                                                                                                        • JANN R
                                                                                                          Just talk to each other and sort it out its not that hard when you love each other
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                                                                                                          • Jennifer 1540583
                                                                                                            Yes clear communication is the key.
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                                                                                                            • Peter H (ACT)
                                                                                                              communications and discussion
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                                                                                                              • Carolyn K 714554
                                                                                                                56 years of marriage is the result of talking about our problems.
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                                                                                                                • allin
                                                                                                                  you either talk, or you walk,
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                                                                                                                  • Franca R
                                                                                                                    Strong communication skills and therapy if needed.
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                                                                                                                    • Elizabeth T 396096
                                                                                                                      It only works if you BOTH want it to work and this applies to all couples, married or not.
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                                                                                                                      • Amberleigh 1577130
                                                                                                                        It's always best to take a step back and look at both sides. And then talk about it. Things aren't one sided. Everyone is has different views , thoughts and ideas. So yes communication is key . And listening, understanding, and compromising are top to do's as well.
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                                                                                                                        • Izabelle 1457992
                                                                                                                          I've had to end relationships with men who wouldn't communicate.. Both parties have to know how and when to relate to each other. If both could find a way to calmly talk to each other when there's an issue, there would never be any long term resentments or cold shoulders going on
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                                                                                                                          • Dottie 1043512
                                                                                                                            Married for 45 years before he passed.Good times and bad times.We accepted each other and had no secrets.
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                                                                                                                            • Tupulua S
                                                                                                                              don't lie
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                                                                                                                              • Boycee
                                                                                                                                COMPROMISE 😀
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                                                                                                                                • Frank K 593543
                                                                                                                                  Pray together
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                                                                                                                                  • Tina 423889
                                                                                                                                    It really is communication and working with each other, married almost 30 years.
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                                                                                                                                    • Cicily 1572110
                                                                                                                                      Marriage is a gift to me
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                                                                                                                                      • Angie
                                                                                                                                        We decided to get divorced! People change and grow apart over time. We continue to be great friends and co-parent our daughter successfully. But as far as being married, it just wasn't for me! Love being single and don't plan on ever getting married again!
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                                                                                                                                        • Gail 1575828
                                                                                                                                          Marriage is scared
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                                                                                                                                          • Asesh S
                                                                                                                                            I have been married for nearly 30 years now.For us communication and trust has been the key for us along with letting each other have the freedom to do things that we each like but never neglecting the other when doing so.
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                                                                                                                                            • Carolyn H 319412
                                                                                                                                              Mine ended up in divorce because communication was the problem. Also as we got older, our interests were different. We met in our teenage years.
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                                                                                                                                              • Linda 3
                                                                                                                                                Like others have said communication....and also keep an open mind and find out why the other person thinks the way they do. Luckily we feel similar about many (most) things so that has helped us get along well after so many years together. Keeping humor about things is important too. When we do have silly disagreements we can laugh at ourselves.
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                                                                                                                                                • Jack M 393074
                                                                                                                                                  You should be ultra-compatible before you wed. And fro Kami's sake stay away from those dating sites where the computer matches you up because most people shall we say 'embroider' themselves. On Adam 12 recently, the guy claimed to be a test pilot (He ran a grocery store) and the gal said she was a fashion model (She was an office worker) and they met again the next day where she and her lady friends were picketing the high prices in his store!
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                                                                                                                                                  • Val 1394045
                                                                                                                                                    Communication is the key You have to talk and express feelings and dislikes.
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                                                                                                                                                    • Zena 1539369
                                                                                                                                                      In any relationship communication and compromise are vital. Invest in those who are invested in you.
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                                                                                                                                                      • BLACK LIVES MATTER
                                                                                                                                                        Hi Zena - well said and well written!
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                                                                                                                                                      • Zena 1539369BLACK LIVES MATTER
                                                                                                                                                        Thank you. Huge life lesson.
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