Discussion of the Day
When is it ok to discipline someone else s child?
Cynthia D 120985029-Sep-23
If you are watching other people s children, and they seriously misbehave, and you can t just walk away from them for any reason is it ok to discipline another person s child?
Comments
  • Carolyn7 P
    As a general rule I do not discipline other people's children. If I am looking after them, I might use a time out or more often, we talk about the problem and sort it out and make apologies if needed. Teach communication early on. Teach them talking about their feelings can make things better.
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    • Pato Lo Duck
      Yes, but only when no one is watching, then you can deny everything…
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      • Jen P 1098991
        I think it depends on which level of discipline you will use. A stern voice, taking away privilege's and treats are good punishments for children but laying hands on someone else child even if it is a light slap on the bottom I feel is wrong. As a mother I would not want anyone else but me chastising my child that way.
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        • Kimberly 1349167
          I would talk to the parents
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          • Lance P 1114997
            Hey yes, I was beat as a kid and I turned out great, these kids that are breaking in stores and stealing stuff have no consequences. They should be publicly spanked in public with their pants down.
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            • GrumpyBsd
              Just give them a thick ear!
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              • Marion M 82108
                As a retired teacher, I spent a lot of time disciplining other people’s children. Discipline being setting guidelines and rules with appropriate consequences. When my own children had friends over I had guidelines and rules. If a child misbehaved and I was supervising then I explained appropriate behaviour. A consequence may be stopping the activity. I would never raise my voice or physically discipline a child. If the child’s parents were supervising then I did not intervene, it is their responsibility.
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                • Cherie B 1241731
                  Only if the parent says so or the child is in danger.
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                  • Janet H 854956
                    My oath it is! Your home, your rules!
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                    • Mimi 1366013
                      In your own home or in your care
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                      • Laura W 363255
                        If done quietly yes & also if in your home.
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                        • Marisa 1367299
                          Call the attention of the parent or guardian first.
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                          • Paul J 94868
                            I think it's best just to discipline adults...:)
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                            • Roberto 1388856
                              Never
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                              • boy blunder
                                if your in charge hell yes
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                                • JANET R 328390
                                  Need a bit more detail here. Were you in charge of these children or where were their parents? If you in charge - yes. If parents there - I would say no. Not sure why you can't just walk away ???? People have different ideas of discipline - your kids your business - otherwise it is the parents.
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                                  • Pat C 618241
                                    You can give them a warning but depending on the age of the child this doesn't always stop the behaviour.
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                                    • Rose S 88496
                                      Was in a shopping centre last year when a young lad decided to have a go at another young fellow couldn’t help myself and told him to leave off the poor kid … after working in Childcare for over 20 years you have to step in at times to cool down some situations … of course no physical intervention is ever an option
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                                      • Merci
                                        Some 50 years ago a friend brought her daughter to a play date with my daughter in our home. She then left for an appointment. Her daughter then proceeded to climb over radiogram, bookshelves etc. Of course my daughter did the same. As I do not condone children treating furniture as a trampoline or climbing wall I took the 2 girls to a nearby park so that they could play happily outside. When the girl's mother returned I commented on where we had been and why, to be told 'oh that's ok, we let her jump on our furniture because we are going to get new stuff when she starts school'. I did not issue a new invitation for another playu-date tho' have been very interested to see the number of children who are permitted to treat their furniture in this way. Was I wrong?
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                                        • Mary G 409440
                                          Of course you are right. The mother was quite progressive fifty years ago - there generally was more discipline back then. My younger sister's children were a bit unruly as small children about forty years ago and I was quite taken back because mine were 10 years older than hers and they would not have dreamed (or dared) to damage the things my nephews did. I suspect children get away with quite a lot more these days. I have never been embarrassed by them but would not be at all surprised if my grandchildren are not the angels they lead me to believe they are.
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                                      • Rusty .. (vic)
                                        I once told some young lads off for standing at the help yourself lolly bins in Woolies...they were scoffing them all...while i know kids do stuff like this, they didnt stop at just a few..told them i was a store detective, they were quite shocked and ran off.
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                                        • Paula J 395266
                                          If you have been left in charge then it's your place if they misbehave to tell them what they have done is wrong. Otherwise what is the point of leaving them with you.
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                                          • Jacqueline R 353303
                                            Yes doesn't hurt to show the child where they are going wrong & to stop their behaviour
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                                            • Jayne C 315662
                                              When you’re a teacher
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                                              • Greg B 520364
                                                Yes
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                                                • Anneliese
                                                  If there's an element of danger, someone getting hurt or themselves then sure step in, could avoid an accident. Aside from that, giving little reminders can help kids remember to be polite or behave properly without overstepping the discipline line, that should really be up to the parents.
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                                                  • LESLEY S 385154
                                                    It is a good subject to discuss with a parent before having to discipline. If you know how the parents discipline their children it can go along way to know you wont be wrong if you follow their lead. It would help the child to understand why it is being done. Just a thought maybe
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                                                    • Kerry P 1257988
                                                      When needed
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                                                      • Colin L 88398
                                                        Yes it's much better to do something now than have something far worse happen latter.
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                                                        • Mercedes 1376978
                                                          It’s not ok to discipline someone else’s child but you sure can tell the parents of the problem. If a child misbehaves in my home I sure make the parents aware of it and if it continues, I then will interfere by stating you either discipline your child or I will when your child is in my home.
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                                                          • Danielle R 478487
                                                            If they were in my care as at work. They would be redirected. But never had this problem often. They tend to misbehave more for their parents than caregivers.
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                                                            • Danielle R 478487
                                                              No,definitely not . If one or both of their parents ate present it is their responsibility to discipline them. The only time I would ever step over someone else's authority is of they are doing something that is going to result in them hurting themselves or others. Then I would also express serious concerns directly to the parents. After working with children up to the age of 12 years for most of my working life I have seen the best and the worst of children's behaviour. They can be angels or devils. And will demonstrate the most embarrassing behaviour quite often in public. These days disciplining your child in public draws alot of unwanted attention from would be do gooders who I am sure have the best intentions. But have a care for their parents. It's a hard job made harder these days and at the end of the day just be thankful they aren't yours.
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                                                              • Hilary P 701184
                                                                The only time you can actually discipline someone's child is if they are in your home and they have done something wrong - like hitting your own child kicking your dog and sntaching the food off the table. You have to just say NO in a very firm voice and if they continue to be uncontrollable you call their parents or drive them home and not have them come to your place again. Times have changed and no longer can you do anything without asking the parents. Mobile phones are just a hand away so if a child is misbehaving a quick call to the parent allows them to tell the child off.
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                                                                • debra j 18701
                                                                  i never did , i feel itsbest to ask the parents if its ok
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                                                                  • Allen M 1199636
                                                                    Discipline the child and the adults with them or just swear loudly and leave or just laugh it off the poor kid probably has an alphabet of disorders and mum forgot to give him, her, they, them, zim zam or whatever pronoun their pills..and she is in need of a break and some medicinal marijuana...or just mind your own business u self righteous karen
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                                                                    • Mariaj
                                                                      Yes if it indangers other children, bullying or any abuse of others
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                                                                      • Michael B 384408
                                                                        Absolutely - You can't let them get away with bad behaviour or they will take full advantage of it and you! Let them know you are in charge and should be respected. If their parents don't like you disciplining them, they don't have to leave them with you. And they probably leave them with you because they can't control them and hope you will teach them some respect.
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                                                                        • Brooke T 1007248
                                                                          I agree , perfectly said. Any one see my kids doing what they shouldn’t I would like to hope they would pull my kid up
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                                                                      • Empress
                                                                        I try to use a bit of humour and a smile. Parents should have to be made to feel bad, it is a damned hard job. However, I do get peed off with parents who are too busy with their bloody phones and not attending to their children..one little guy nearly felt onto the escalator because Mum was gauping at her phone, so I gently ushered him over to Mum...
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                                                                        • Henrietta
                                                                          If you are looking after children that are not yours but babysitting them for a period of time, & they end up being disrespectful in your house, then certainly I would certainly chastise them but also tell their parents what had happened, before the child or children had a chance to tell their parents.
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                                                                          • Anne 1385855
                                                                            Yes if a child or children were misbehaving in my care I would tell them to behave and chastise them
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                                                                            • Connie B 1227041
                                                                              If they are in your care and misbehaving, absolutely yes
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                                                                              • Amy B 1078427
                                                                                I would say something to them and never watch the kids again
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                                                                                • Wayne Wilson
                                                                                  Depends, there are a lot of uncontrollable brats around these days.
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                                                                                  • Jennifer H 396811
                                                                                    If children are badly behaved around me and disrespectful I shall say something. All children no matter who they are or belong to, need discipline and should be taught how to behave in public. There are a lot of parents out there who need lessons on how to behave as well as the children unfortunately.
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                                                                                    • Ruth v
                                                                                      When they are in your care and misbehaving.
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                                                                                      • Don T 805693
                                                                                        If someone elses child is doing something that is effecting your child. In the example given you are acting in loco parentis. You are expected to discipline the children in your care.
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                                                                                        • Kristina
                                                                                          I believe you can and when the parents come around then tell them what happened. I'm sure they would be fine with it. At least that's what I do and the parents never had a problem with it. I guess every parent is different though.
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                                                                                          • Tammy 1387820
                                                                                            Just talk to them in a firm voice
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                                                                                            • Wendy Q
                                                                                              I know you shouldn't, but I told a girl off as she kept bullying my child.
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                                                                                              • Anneliese
                                                                                                I've done the same to older kids who pushed my child (who was 2 at the time) on play equipment. The parents were either too busy chatting or on their phones. Happend on a few occasions.
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                                                                                            • Shawn B 1061185
                                                                                              Sometimes. A few yers ago, I was waiting in line for my turn at an attraction at the local harbour. Some wonderful little monster started throwing rocks at the ducks that were swimming close by. Not little ones, but large enough to break the birds bones, or actually kill them. I looked all about and No parents around anywhere, so I yelled at the little darling. Scared him half out of his wits and the collective crowd applauded my efforts. Why didn't anybody else say anything? It was obvious from the applause that they thought I had done the correct thing. Again, why was I the only one to say anything? Fear? Of what? If there are no parents, or you're the parent, I don't think it's wrong to point out the error of their ways (the child's) and try to set them straight. You can't touch the little s***s, (even the actual parent may get arrested for child abuse) but you can speak up.
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                                                                                              • Judy T 470524
                                                                                                If you are looking after someone else's children and you have been given permission to discipline them that's fine but otherwise no.
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                                                                                                • Lynn-a-Boo @ Brisvegas
                                                                                                  it is ok to drcipline other people children if their parents are not around
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                                                                                                  • Jenny L 591463
                                                                                                    Only unless they are going to hurt themselves or some one else then yes but otherwise no. If they are that badly behaved don't look after them any more. I used to look after a neighbours little boy some afternoons until he spat on me and then after that I would never go and play football with him while his dad was getting stoned in the garage. I just thought hey your kid you look after him instead of hanging out with your mates. I had a feeling he knew some thing had happened because I wasn't out there helping but he never really said any thing, not to me any way. I am just glad I do not have to look after any little darlings, I seriously doubt I'd be sane afterwards. They just get away with too much and there is no discipline left not these days any how.
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                                                                                                    • Irena T
                                                                                                      You can discipline them in a positive way. For example: redirected their energy towards a constructive activity, find something they like to do and do it together, things like this. Never physical and not even screaming at them because most of the time it doesn't work.
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                                                                                                      • Mooi
                                                                                                        I don't take care of other peoples children but I do volunteer at my grandchildren's school. If there is a behavioural problem I inform the teacher straight away.
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                                                                                                        • Christine M 323842
                                                                                                          You use your voice. Tell them what not to do and why. If they persist they go home. Always inform the child’s parents what has been occurring.
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                                                                                                          • Marie W 1190344
                                                                                                            Never
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                                                                                                            • arran 1323608
                                                                                                              depends how you want to do it
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                                                                                                              • Gaza
                                                                                                                Never had that problem, they're just too scared to playup when I'm around. (don't know why).
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                                                                                                                • LA
                                                                                                                  Your home your rules. You may want to tell the parents your boundaries:)
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                                                                                                                  • Maria B 89860
                                                                                                                    Just ring their parent and tell them to kindly come asap and pick up their brat as you don't want them to contaminate your children with their seriously bad behaviour.
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                                                                                                                    • Jennifer H 722364
                                                                                                                      If they are in your own home or left in your care then its house rules ,respect and safety .
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                                                                                                                      • Mary M 329762
                                                                                                                        No, my neighbor father hit me for nothing because his kids want to lay with me not go home not my sister. I didn't made them be with me. This made me loss my childhood and made me never want kids in life or don't feel belong. All the father of childs needed to do go to my parents and tell your child go home or take his kid inside. Or talk his kids right and wrong. Today when see the man I do not say nothing and walk away. If my husband takes him I pull away. It's made my mental I feel like I love my childhood in life.
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                                                                                                                        • Bruce 1274521
                                                                                                                          That is a very difficult question and can land you in very hot water no matter what action is or is not taken. Even approaching those that are in care of the children to offer advice is not easy. The real problem is that children are far from stupid and they are experts at manipulation and they know exactly what they can get away with. I am retired and my children are all grown and left and I should have the experience to know the answer. If anyone has the information then let me know. I wish you the best of luck with that question which I believe that not even the wise old profits know the answer.
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                                                                                                                          • Carolyn K 714554
                                                                                                                            If they leave you in control, them you should discipline them. But it is there job if they are present. ( Bad behaviour should not be tolerated). P.S. I don't like to witness bad behaviour with no discipline from the parents.
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                                                                                                                            • gordy
                                                                                                                              Yes, and you take the consequences. We were at the park with my two nephews, one 10 and the other 7. The 10yr old was kicking a can on the main road into traffic. Begged him to stop but he wouldn't - I chased him and held him by the scruff of the neck and unfortunately left red marks on his neck. Prior to that we were on a paddle boat at the river. They decided to hold the steering stick and lock the brakes with their feet. I do not swim and we were headed straight for the fountain in the middle of the river. I bit their hands to release the stick and headed for the embankment. On disembarking the 7yr old told the attendant that I sexually abused him. Luckily the attendant just told him to get off. Just taking the nephews out to give my sister a break but I'm the one who copped it. Discipline, yes it is ok in these circumstances where it is dangerous.
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                                                                                                                              • Sheree T
                                                                                                                                It depends on what your interpretation of discipline is. If the child is in your care and is seriously misbehaving then I would explain to them why they shouldn't behave like that and put them in time out so they can think about it.
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                                                                                                                                • Elizabeth A 807208
                                                                                                                                  If the child is in your home then you should be able to correct them.
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                                                                                                                                  • Smiley
                                                                                                                                    In response to the main title, I think it was OK to discipline someone else's child up until the 1990's, maybe into the very early 2000's. The past 20 years have seen carers, parents, guardians, etc lose pretty much all ability to discipline children they are taking care of. It seems these days anyone doing wrong has more authority or rights over the person trying to correct the bad behaviour and take care of someone.
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                                                                                                                                    • Tiffany L 690503
                                                                                                                                      I really don’t think it is easiest to handle any children
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                                                                                                                                      • Darlene 1365136
                                                                                                                                        Nowadays you cannot spank children so time out would be another way, not sure quite how to answer this.
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                                                                                                                                        • Annette G 805380
                                                                                                                                          Depends on what you call discipline. Spanking, no. Putting in time out or something is fine.
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                                                                                                                                          • Robert T 597718
                                                                                                                                            very difficult Cynthia
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                                                                                                                                            • MacAddict
                                                                                                                                              If you are responsible for care, you are responsible for discipline. Perhaps check with the parents what they use for discipline to continue the same.
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                                                                                                                                              • Ricardo J
                                                                                                                                                If I'm affected by the child's misbehavior, I might take some questionable action. I would hope that the parents are around to alert them.
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                                                                                                                                                • Elizabeth G 1222286
                                                                                                                                                  There's a difference between boundaries and discipline. The way I think about discipline it's corrective and that's more than a one time comment. If I were out with my children and a child was behaving inappropriately or doing something that put my child in significant danger I would have no problem asking them not to or setting a boundary but that's not really the same as discipline.
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                                                                                                                                                  • sandra d 736311
                                                                                                                                                    If the discipline is accepted by the parents of the child ahead of time. I would still be very cautious of the kind of discipline you give.
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                                                                                                                                                    • BLACK LIVES MATTER
                                                                                                                                                      I don't feel comfortable answering his question, since I have 'never' been a parent (and I 'never' raised children)!
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                                                                                                                                                      • Denise S 164096
                                                                                                                                                        If in your care then it’s a yes from me.
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                                                                                                                                                        • Elizabeth T 396096
                                                                                                                                                          If you are watching them and the parents have given you clear guidelines on what is acceptable for discipline. If not, then call the parents and ask.
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                                                                                                                                                          • Linda B 907610
                                                                                                                                                            If you are the adult responsible for the child at the time of misbehaviour then you have to be the disciplinarian. Children need to be taught boundaries. Your house, your rules.
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                                                                                                                                                            • Samuel K 1157045
                                                                                                                                                              In my house if you're child is misbehaving you can take care of it or leave. In public I would walk away like I don't know you if you don't discipline your child. Undisciplined children become Undisciplined and entitled adults.
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                                                                                                                                                              • Denny 1306290
                                                                                                                                                                Coming from a big family with lots of children, my rule was if I live with them and baby sit them I get to discipline them. If they don't live with me then I can bite my tongue unless it's too out of control. And never use your hands to talk.
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                                                                                                                                                                • Melinda B 311794
                                                                                                                                                                  What do you mean by discipline? If you mean hit, under no circumstances.
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                                                                                                                                                                  • Ernie 67
                                                                                                                                                                    First of course use words and if that doesn't work .... Id day use a time out as long as it's in your own home or theirs.
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                                                                                                                                                                    • Kathy 1270954
                                                                                                                                                                      Tough call. I guess if it was life threatening because who needs a parent taking you to court? When I was a kid any kid's parent could not give physical punishment, but verbally let you have it for being stupid.
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                                                                                                                                                                      • Samiuella L
                                                                                                                                                                        When they misbehave and there's no adult or guardian around
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                                                                                                                                                                        • Harry 1361654
                                                                                                                                                                          It is never O.K. Send him/her home. Then take it up with the child's parents.
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                                                                                                                                                                          • Michelle 1281734
                                                                                                                                                                            If they misbehave yes
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                                                                                                                                                                            • Maree B 85308
                                                                                                                                                                              Only if the parents are not present and they are putting themselves or someone else in danger
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                                                                                                                                                                              • Lee b 979050
                                                                                                                                                                                Never. Discipline the parents since the kid issue is theirs not yours
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                                                                                                                                                                                • jeffrey t 1083827
                                                                                                                                                                                  My place my rules my way.
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                                                                                                                                                                                  • SueM2
                                                                                                                                                                                    If it's your house or you have been put in charge, you are the boss! Children's memory spans are too short to allow discipline after the fact to be useful.
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                                                                                                                                                                                    • ELIZABETH F 1074855
                                                                                                                                                                                      There are certain circumstances where it is most appropriate.
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                                                                                                                                                                                      • Susan KTC
                                                                                                                                                                                        No…speaking to them firmly about their unacceptable behaviour is OK, and then speaking to the parents!
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                                                                                                                                                                                        • pam rae
                                                                                                                                                                                          TY Morenita
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                                                                                                                                                                                          • Christina C 466456
                                                                                                                                                                                            You need to discuss with the parent beforehand how they discipline their children as everyone has different methods of discipline and every child is different. Parents know their kids better than anyone else so they should know what makes their child tick. It might be an awkward conversation to begin with but it's a heck of a lot less awkward than dealing with the aftermath if you do something deemed inadequate by parent.
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                                                                                                                                                                                            • Roy R 1009866
                                                                                                                                                                                              What do you mean by discipline them? Hit them? No to hitting but have them sit in a corner or in a room alone for a time out should be fine. It would be a good idea to talk with the child's parents to have your boundaries explained clearly to you. That is if you don't want to be sued and or jailed for passing out punishment to someone else's child.
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                                                                                                                                                                                              • Morenita
                                                                                                                                                                                                That’s a good question….. I still struggle trying to step in with my grandson. He’s really really bad sometimes and hits his mom.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                • Donna M 594867
                                                                                                                                                                                                  No, but I rat them out to their parents as soon as I see them.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                  • kristian s 513441
                                                                                                                                                                                                    No, I don't discipline some else's children, or I don't want someone discipline my children.
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