For me, it's avoiding people I don't connect with in any way (99% or more of people). That's when I feel the most lonely, when I'm with people who make me feel alone.

Rewardia...!!!! truly..not kidding. Esp. as i am still avoiding groups as never ending waves of covid here.Edited 17-May-23 20:50pm

No doubt loneliness is a killer. I feel decline in my health from the time I realised I don’t really have friends close by. No idea how to make new ones, I feel alienated - but online activities don’t help. Fancy, if so many people are lonely why they don’t get together?!

Join church groups

We have a park run/walk Saturday mornings which all ages participate in & it encourages fun & friendships as participant or volunteer. On our city fb's 'community group' there are also a lot of groups out there 'all welcome' like craft groups, chess club, other interests So maybe try your local fb group to get ideasEdited 17-May-23 05:35am

join a book club

There are many ways you can combat loneliness throughout the day with hobbies, clubs, working in the garden or volunteering somewhere. But once you have to return to your home then the loneliness hits you once again. I know the problem but not the answer.

Covid restrictions only made this worse! Find a hobby, join a group or a club. Find people who share your interests. Even a pet would help by giving you a purpose.

There's a lot I can say on this subject, but I doubt people want to hear my philosophy, so I'll keep it simple. The worst thing, at least in my experience, is not being by yourself, but being around people you can't connect with, have nothing in common with. (I have cousins by the dozens but when I'm with them I feel isolated.) One way to avoid that is to find a group, club or some social gathering of people that share your hobbies or interests. There was a movie about a club whose members were all jane Austen fans and loved her novels. Right from the start, they all had something in common. If you join a group like that (even online) already you'll have a connection, so it's a start. You could take a class (at a local college or community center, whatever) about something you're interested in just for the fun of it. Even if you don't make any lasting friendships or see any of the people after the course is ended, you'd still have learned something, hopefully had fun and may want to try this again with some other interest, and who knows who you may meet the next time? And now, I'll shut up.

Harder to make friends as you get older and family/friends pass away. Use technology only when you have to and pick up the phone, ring people and make arrangements to meet. Soon we will have robots for company........what a laugh, you will probably alway get the right answers you're looking for.

To be quite honest - I think a lot of people create their own lonliness. I must admit I am lucky and still have a car so it does make getting out and catching with a friend a lot easier. BUT when I did not have a car for a while - I still did the same thing. I live in Perth and the bus service here is really good. You can get to just about anywhere and if you are a Senior it is free - the majority of the day. At the Perth Railway Station there is a Community Room where you can go and get a very cheap meal or just coffee and there are always lots of people to talk to. There are also MANY SENIORS GROUPS you can join that have meetings regularly.

Having happy life

There is Lonely and alone. I am alone, this does not mean I am lonely. I am happy this way. I do my own thing, sleep when I want, eat when I want. I have been overseas on holidays, by myself and am fine. I have a dog, very spoiled, internet which I enjoy, never watch TV but have Netflix for films. I find TV full of Ads, Good news does not sell so read what I want to know on the net. Not everyone's choice but being content and happy is a good choice regardless how we go about it

Put your devices down. I have an ordinary mobile and I use it only for emergencies. I like to see the person I'm talking to and I'll talk to just about anyone. I say good aye to everyone I pass, and many don't reply, I'll talk to people behind me in queues as well as doctor's surgeries etc., and I'm not an extrovert. I am a people person and worked with customers for most of my working life. I have friends that have been born all over the world and I made friends with them by talking to them. I have lived in 2 countries overseas and I made friends there as well. Lonely? No, I have never felt lonely but if I did I'd go and buy something at the supermarket and talk to the checkout chick.

I do understand the need to 'socialise and enjoy friendships. I am not having much success at either establishing new friendships or in enhancing new connections. It seems to me that the appempts encourage loneliness and the sense of isolation.

I have very few friends any more, since I partly lost some of my abilities to be social through brain damage. Still it is not lonely anymore it is just life. The internet itself certainly keeps me entertained. Comming to think of it I kind of gave one of my silly friends 5 or more different names over a decade ago, so maybe that is a way of stopping me getting lonely?

get a dog and some birds, goldfish?

I am very rarely lonely - I have 2 jobs, volunteer 3 times a week and have plenty of work inside and out of the house. If I want quiet time, I either watch a movie, read a book or do a sudoku puzzle. Occasionally, I will meet a friend for coffee or write a long letter to a penpal in WA.

We're in golden age & have friends that we regularly have for lunch/dinner to solcialaise/entertain

Visit age care homes. Residents can get very lonely. You will be amazed how much a chat can fill your love bucket.

There are lots of social groups out there for people who feel lonely or just want to make new friends.My sister joined a walking social group and has met some cool like minded people.

Yeah I'm left alone for most hours in a day most days of the week l just lay in bed and watch tv I have no desire to do or go anywhere .l have tried friendship groups but they don't interest me I'm 67 and yes l know all to well what lonelyness is.

Go to jw.org and, on the home page, request a free home Bible study, and you will be part of the largest group of loving brothers and sisters you could ever hope for! Not only that, you'll become a child of God, and have more love than you could ever imagine! Also, having a pet at home helps combat loneliness, but nothing beats having fellowship with true believers! So much to look forward to! Read Psalm Chapter 37. ;-D

Lots of places need volunteers everywhere

Only felt it whenever there is a special day- any festival meant to be with family but they are too far away : ((

Oh I forgot to say, I'm married with children and grandchildren all of which are only a phone call away. Except my wife who is never far away. All is good.

I have never felt lonely, I have been alone, but never lonely. I have always had friends. And now I have Rewardia to share ideas with

I have lovely online friends, from different countries, thats all I need ,as too busy to visit friends or have them over to my house. Not suitable for everyone, but it suits my lifestyle.

Being lonely doesn't mean that you are a lone. You can be lonely with a room full of family and friends or strangers

There are plenty of clubs you can join these days. Here you can look up your local council area for things to do and places to join. There are always sports clubs that are looking for people to help out. No need for anyone to be lonely unless they want to be.You could visit old people in homes. Some have no one to visit them, try volunteering.

Maybe I am extremely lucky for I have never felt lonely, may be it is because though from a family of 5 girls and me being the single boy when they weren't bossing me about and using me as a sort of living doll, I was left largely on my own so I found things to do by myself, at times anything to avoid those bossy sisters of mine! Jules 1097567, you are right when you say those you thought were your friends dumped you when you got sick. People are very fickle, they only want the good news, the nice things to happen. I do almost everything on my own and if people think that is weird then that is their problem NOT mine because I don't care what they think. I know people shudder when you mention joining a Gym and attending on a regular basis but they are Not full of narcisistic women and men who spend most of their time ingesting anabolic streoids and posing in front of the mirrors, many go for the exercise, which does not mean hefting huge weights, and the social interaction. If possible pick a small, privately owned one where the owners and their staff are really interested in helpping you get more healthy. Though I say I don't get lonely that does not mean I don't get depressed, my Black/Purple Dog is a fairly frequent visitor, going to the Gym helps me combat that withouit resorting to pills and potions. Give it a try, you might enjoy it! There is now a thing going around which says that even if ill and under-going treatment Exercise can help in the healing.

Ever since I got sick, I have never been so lonely! People I thought were friends vanished when I became to sick for them to have anything to do with

The more I involve myself with my adult children the more I realise how alone I am. I am learning to feel satisfied with my own company, and often go to shows by myself. Some people comment, how can I just go on my own? Well I have no choice. I am no longer a priority to anyone else.

Mental health issues are a growing issue for society, here in Victoria Australia we faced several months of lockdown due to Covid, which has a major concern for mental health. Having retired before Christmas 2021 and growing through winter in lockdown was extremely tough. I really d think that our use of technology especially mobile phones has made us unable or unwilling to actually talk to people in general.

I'm all alone when I'm by myself.

Sometimes you have to unplug and go out and meet people. Go to church, join the gym, go back to school, join an art class, walking group, etc.

I think the main thing is to learn to enjoy your own company and to keep occupied as I have grown older most of my friends have passed away and my family are overseas apart from two Nieces.

For all that we growl about Rewardia I notice most of us keep using it and I certainly derive comfort from knowing that there are people out there who think somewhat like me and present their personal views on what we discuss. I must confess for much of my life I have been "the cat that walks by herself".

I think online can help us combat loneliness to a degree, if we are willing to use technology to help us reach out to others and form bonds, friendships, possibly even deeper relationships. I live in a house with 7 other people, but it is here where i feel most lonely. My online friends entertain me, humour me, encourage me and listen or give advice when it is needed, and even when it isn't. You don't necessarily need other humans around to not be lonely, pets are fantastic company and they are pretty much always glad to see you and love you with all they have.

I find it very difficult to mix with people. I live in a small country town and I can talk to them if I pass them on the street but I get very uncomfortable when they ask me to visit. We have a lot of social groups here - tai chi classes, patchwork quilting classes, sports groups and I panic if someone invites me along. I wasn't like that when I was working because there I felt comfortable and could talk to anyone. Now my main thing is talking to my dog since my husband passed away. I have lovely neighbours and I'll have a quick chat over the fence. I do go out for a coffee and a toastie once a week by myself and I'm okay with that. Been doing it for a while now so that when I walk in the door they just tell the kitchen I'm there for my regular order. The only thing I change is the size of my coffee.

Go out more and talk to people I am never lonely I have good neighbors and friends that I have had for years living in a small country town you get to know a lot of people so much so that I like time at home by myself

I am totally alone. I have no family, but I do have about five friends that I am sure I can count on in real life. I've learned to surround myself with positive people who are good for me because I've spent years online and unhappy with the so-called friends. They are not friends because you probably will never meet them due to distance. You have to love yourself enough to enjoy being with yourself. If you are a young person, join a group or go to church. I know that's not what you want to hear, but there are great people out there. You just need to find them. Try an activity that doesn't even appeal to you. I have done this and found that I actually enjoy things I thought I hated! Try new things. I spend my time doing crafts, learning German, and doing surveys online which can be profitable and fun. This website is a good one. I have had conversations with people here, but I know they can't be real friends. Get out of the house! Be a kid again, regardless of your age! Talk to yourself, make up friends. My best friend is myself! I encourage myself with positive self-talk. I have gotten to know ME, and I've found I'm a pretty interesting person to be friends with. It sounds funny, weird and borderline insane, but I've never had so much fun alone! I do hilarious things and no one ever knows unless I choose to tell them. Usually I tell them because they are so funny, and my few friends enjoy listening to my silly antics that hurt no one. I am friends with everyone when I am out. I know you can't do that everywhere, but I'm lucky enough to live in a rural area with little crime and people are so nice and friendly! Trying to make up stories and writing them down. Perhaps actually write letters to people you know, but rarely get to see. Visit a nursing home and talk to the elderly or volunteer to work with children or the disabled. The pay is immense, but not in money. People have a lot to offer, and they are just as lonely as you are. They won't reach out to you so reach out to others. If you have an interest, start your own group. Go to the library and find subjects that excite you. Work on your family history. I've done that for 50 years, and I am passionate about it. Learn a new skill. YouTube can teach you almost anything you want to learn. Keep yourself busy. Never let yourself sit just thinking. Do anything to change your mindset. Love yourself. That is so important. Don't listen to any negativity. People who judge you aren't worth your time. Get away from them if you can. If you can't, turn out the negativity and be positive about how great you are! If you aren't a good person, then change! You can do anything you want so go do it! Love to you all!

it all right to join groups and everything but loneliness to me is being without that special someone in your life that will love you and care for you and be physical with you like kissing, cuddling and having sex i don't know about anybody else but without this life is just a dead end

I took up ballroom dancing and cycling. I made friends, I stay fit, my mind is sharper, yada yada. I would also suggest finding a place for God in your life. You will never be alone.

Buy goats..

own a dog

I prefer my own company on the whole If you wish for company join a club where you can contribute The way to Combate looniness is not waiting for a cure but helping someone else to achief their own goals

I am actively with different communities group we share likes and my faith based group.

Do volunteer work for a charity or nonprofit organization. Youll meet a lot of nice people that way and do something that makes you feel good.

Join groups, depending on your hobbies, or a book club or social groups, catch with friends or travel solo meet people from all walks of life, there so many places. I think Covid has changed us all and we have forgotten how to interact socially sometimes we are all glue to technology so much, which is fine for those to connect with families and friends from afar, but we all need to join or meet individuals from all walks of life

I catch up regularly with friend I use to work with and we go out to lunch. We generally do this once a month and that is adequate for me.

Get a dog. Since I adopted my dog, when I walk him on the trails all of a sudden I have lots of people saying hello or asking about Louie.

I love time to myself,but I also love interacting with others. I live rural so I find at times I am lonely. People here are nice and there is alot on for where I live as an example I recently joined a gentle exercise class,once a week,no cost ,gov funded,go when you can. I have met some lovely people,even a lady that lives on my street( and never seen her before). I would suggest joining your local anything such as community noticeboard( gives you up and coming events) people reach out to ask for items or help,friendship. If sports your thing go to local footy,cricket. Even volunteer at a local charity for an hour or two once a month. It helps. Markets,local festivals and if all else fails have a garage sale.

Church or the gym

I hate to break it to you but if you are not happy in your own company first, you will never be happy in anybody's company regardelss of how much social interaction you have. Of course in person interactions are better but if your social circle isn't into it or is too "busy" to do this then you need a new social circle as they are not really your friends or have their own problems or just don't want to be in the real world. Be happy with yourself and your own company and then seek the company of others who are not energy vampires and put your electronic toys away when socialising in person.

Excellent topic!

Getting out and leaving the phones alone would combat loneliness but it also has to be welcoming without judgement

Going out for lunch or dinner with friends or family. I prefer to meet up with others for a Rock and Roll night out.

I am quite happy being alone. I can please myself what I do & when I do it. Having said that I am not antisocial & enjoy my days on the golf course but my highlight of each day is meeting up with some or all my large whanau.

I would much rather speak in person, I don't like phone or conversations, and do not use any social media

Exercise helps me !

We all need human interaction. It can be good to call a friend and have lunch every few weeks. I also think volunteering is good for helping this situation. Having a pet is generally a good thing. Maybe I can do that soon. I love dogs and cats... Have a good day all.

Hi David L Such a great topic to discuss and receive replies ones that will inspire you for you not to be lonely. Ideas for teenagers could be creating a homework club after school and sharing ideas on the topics that are studying at school. Cooking and sharing a meal together and creating a recipe book just for teenagers. Hanging out with your teenage friends without mobile phones. Playing board games on a rainy day As adults our lives are really busy with volunteer work, family, pets appointments and NDIS activities. Getting together away from being online can be real tricky due to the fear of Covid. Book club at your local library Sharing a meal once a week with friends Create a fund-raiser and raise money for an important cause Morning and afternoon walks with your pampered pooch, people will naturally start talking to you. I agree we humans are social creatures by nature and it is a great idea to get outside get some fresh and have a conversation with a stranger.

i agree with Bill we all need human interaction

We all desire human interaction at some stage. It is what makes us human.

Animals make great companions and many people would be more lon ely without them.

Working from Home was a great thing at the beginning - No travel, didn't have shower or get dressed (Maybe put on a good shirt or top if you had to do video calls) and at the end of the day you are already home - No traffic problems, no being jammed in a train or bus - Who could ask for more - Well by the time the Pandemic was over people were wanting some time in the office to interact, have lunch together, play jokes on each - Humans need the interaction and Zoom/Teams etc just doesn't quite do it for lots of people. Humans have to be part of something - I am 67 and in good health and very little interest in retiring - I work a 5 on - 5 off shift pattern so have a great work/life balance (Fully paid semi retirement) - I have a lot of interests that keep me busy on my days off but as Bill Gates said of retirement - You are retiring from a job NOT from life. Retire to nothing to keep you going and you are dead in 3yrs. Lonely and not being part of something will kill you.

Even if you do not feel like it SMILE! Walk down the street and smile in a friendly manner, you will be amazed how many people will smile back!

It's a dilemma. Hard to trust people over a computer or phone only. There always seems to be alterior motives, so I have to be selective of a support system and have them physically in my life. I've run across way too many people in online spaces.....the few I go to, who come off as two very different versions of themselves. I know no one is perfect, but consistency is something worthwhile to try and show. I keep people at arms length til I'm convinced there is trust there for me and I can reciprocate. Or the other way around....doesn't matter. But there will always be those that are mean-spirited and I say "stay as far away as possible", because our mental wellbeing is everything. We need to treasure and protect it. Along with other aspects of our lives. That is my feeling on this excellent discussion. Reading material that puts positive thoughts or subjects into your mind is important, verses violent, evil, twisted ideas and matter into your subconscious. It really does have a negative impact, realizing it or not. You put out what you put in. Make it the best day or night you can. Start and end each day with gratitude for what you've been blessed with, not what you may not have that you want so much. It lifts you instantly to have a better attitude as hard as it can seem.Edited 16-May-23 07:44am

Meditation can help reduce those cravings

i have a service dog that helps me if i should get into a dark place,,,

Never have time be loveless work all time so never have time be lonely when do I'm usually on here playing games fills my time being lonely

I am sufficient unto myself and it's just as well.

I don't have much problem at the moment. But being there for your friends and family, helps a lot. Being loyal and honest to your friends and family, helps.

I lost my mother last year, she was the greatest influence on my life, I saw her daily, and I brought her to work with me I was a public housing cleaner for 10 years also working in pathological cleaning, office cleaning, etc, she had retired from the education department at age 65 she spent 5 years nursing my grandfather and her partner both passing eventually from cancer, it took about a month once she returned from victoria to see the devastation of loneliness, hence I brought her on board in my business, she became a mum to so many people I was almost jealous when she turned 78 I went to the doctors with her and found out she had been doing all this with 2 aneurysms one in her heart the other in her belly, that she was in pain a lot of the time which really knocked me out, I felt so bad until the surgeon that kept an eye on her told me that her mindset coming out and working, meeting other people gave her another 10 years of life, another 10 years of grandkids things she might not have been apart of ,she passed at 80 and i was assured that by combatting her lonliess it gave her an extra 10 years,of quality life ,so if you know of anyone who lives alone give them a holla,have the odd cuppa,say gday ,invite them over for the odd barbie ,you might make their day ,their week or just give them enough to do the same thing,mike if you are able,and can find the courage i suggest volunteering,in an opp shop,or at a hospital,you can get a lot of purpose from these things, i have , good luck to you my friend and god bless

Going out, meeting people do things in real life not only on screen is the best way to combat loneliness

the andy theory for religion lords prayer and he walks with me talks with me god &jesus with me always

Whatever you do...get outside. Go for a walk..feed some ducks...get groceries daily, not weekly so you can have fresh food and interact with people. Join some kind of group. Church, pottery , something. Most importantly, if you feel loneliness is causing depression, see your doctor.

Doing charity work is a way of making friends or have someone to talk to

I spend most of my time online, talking to my family and making art.

TO ME THIS IS ONE THAT I CAN NEVER WIN I LOST MY WIFE AFER 52 YEARS.EVERY DAY IS JUST AS HARD AND IT TO ME WILL NEVER CHANGE, WE WERE SO HAPPY AND MORE THAN HALF MY LIFE WAS WITH SYLVIA.IT IS SO HARD TO START MY DAY AND ASK MY SELF WHAT AM I GOING TO DO TO-DAY AND THE NEXT AND SO ON. I STILL WEAR MY RING AND NEVER TAKE IT OFFEND I WILL NOT TILL MY TIME COMES AND SOME DAYS I WANT THIS TO BE THE DAY THAT I WILL BE ONE.IF ANYONE CAN TELL ME HOW TO GET OVER THIS PLEASE TELL ME I AM SO LOST.MY LIFE WELL I Suck.MY DAUGHTER IS MY LIVE LINE BUT I AM NOT GOING TO BE THE 3 WHEEL IN HER LIFE AND SHE TRIES SO VERY HARD .YES I DO NEED HELP MIKE TEL ME HOW To combat LONNELININES

I often go for a walk and will start a conversation with anyone people love a joke to make them laugh It helps to make the world go round

I can't offer any suggestions for combating LONELINESS. I enjoy spending time with myself (Often) - aka I am not a people person :-))!

I don't crave social interaction. It's OK to enjoy your own company, it's not a 'condition'. Rather a new pet than a new person in my life.

I don't do much socialising these days so am alone quite a bit, but don't feel lonely. By alone I mean my son lives with me and of course Bob the Cat, perhaps that's all I need these days. So guess people need to work out what more they need and seek it out by perhaps mingling and finding their kindred spirits.

In My loneliness there is Me and My self to keep it at bay , for my age the surgeon is wrong and i do not have the symptoms or issues he is predicting due to life style " you are what you eat " !

I think to a certain degree..Americans are more into worrying about and agonising over their relationships...mental health...and my pet hate mindfullness (whatever that means)..and some like talking about themselves a lot, because they maybe find themselves interesting....I have never ever been lonely and very very rarely been anything less than enthusiastic about life...I have a very limited group of friends that I trust..maybe 8...and two who would take a bullet for me or give me anything I asked for if it would help without question...two great sons...a wider social group that I see sometimes but do not worry about too much...and a network here on Rewardia that I value ..I'm happy with that...and don't need anything else...and I'd probably be fine with far less...I do not need or want any medication...my head is in a good place...and always has been... I'm just happy and grateful to be here....I don't understand why so many people ... living in a fortunate country with no serious problems..can have so many problems...and make themselves sick... you don't have to look very far to see people living in horrific conditions...they would love to have your lifestyle..or even clean water... that Surgeon General...is he concerned with the number of dead people...hundreds of children.... due to gun ownership in his country?..or maybe that is an area that he is not allowed to talk about..... I would not want his job.... leaving a loaded gun lying around is bad for a lot of people's health... Edited 16-May-23 04:15am

ty Richard...

Take the time to go for a walk and feel your breathing as you walk. Look around and notice as much as you can. Smell the air and hear the sounds around you. Try to talk to someone if the situation presents itself. You would be surprised how many people are in the same boat as you. You will come back energized and feeling grateful for the experience. Hope you have a great day!

put yourself out there and join a group or club that you enjoy

being with family and just enjoying and also time for yourself..

I am not lonely in any way. I prefer my own company and very happy when I can get more alone time. Also don't use social media

Online and meet up for fun.