Lonely Holidays

20-Apr-24 05:49am
Alice 1483185
Well I want to thank everybody for their comments and they're advice. What I did fail to mention in my post because I didn't know it was important or anything else not really done this before. My father committed suicide and 2008 we were very very close. He was also an alcoholic which through a whole bunch of dysfunction into our family. He came from a long line of alcoholics. My mother was a workaholic she hung with my dad for 40 years. After he killed himself she was diagnosed with cancer and it took her life in 2014. We were all so very close. I'm the youngest sibling I have two older brothers. One that's 10 years older than me the other one is six years older than me. We've never been very close at all but I could always count on him if I needed to and they could expect the same for me. I did go on to have some nephews and nieces. Which I wouldn't trade for the world but it seems that when my mom died the family died too. And it just felt like once she was gone there was no point in having me around either. Although I heard time and time again that they both needed to hold on to me because I was the closest thing that they had to Mom. Meaning that I was a female and I'm kind of like my mom. Anyway I have a husband I have a 22-year-old daughter and a 16 year old son. My daughter is very much a free spirit always on an adventure has always been the one that will always sign up to do whatever it is it's dangerous or travel or whatever it is she's on boat. She reminds me of myself when I was young and it scares me. She has no regard for her own life and she also has no regard for other people's feelings. She doesn't realize how much I wouldn't worry about her constantly. That being said my son is only an interested in video games and sports. Since he grew up with no grandparents basically he never missed not having them because he didn't remember them that well. So holidays are very lifeless and lonely around our home without my siblings and my kids' cousins to come around. Family has been my number one thing in my life my whole life. I was raised that way. But I feel like I'm on a one-man team here. I do have a lot of hobbies. But I don't have a lot of money to do them. But anyway thank you all for your comments I thought it would be easier just to send out one big writing.
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30-Mar-24 09:17am
Angie
I'm so sorry you have very little interaction with your family Alice. I don't ever feel lonely. I thought I would when my daughter left home to attend College, and yes, at first I found it very difficult. But I decided to fill my life with the things I enjoy. So I got a part-time job working with special needs children and I absolutely love it! Life is great! I have my dogs and we walk the beach daily and I garden. These things get me outdoors where I often run into others and have some fab conversations with interesting people. I wish you well and Happy Easter 🐣
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30-Mar-24 00:02am
Colleen M 510798
My dad is a Jehovah's Witness, so i didn't grow up with holidays and such. I think i thought my family was closer but i realized that it was just WHAT i thought we were. My younger sister and I were always so close as kids, but since we have become adults she likes to get upset over something i said and she will say i meant it this way and that when it wasn't how i meant it at all and then she will just quit talking to me for a few years. After her doing that about 3 times, i said that i didn't need that kinda childish crap in my life. We are adults and if we can't talk things out like i feel we should then i don't need her love whenever she wants to give it and then take it away. That is conditional love and i don't need that. Love me forever or leave me alone.
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29-Mar-24 23:51pm
Andrea 1482896
Holidays are very difficult, especially when we are bombarded with all these happy images in the media. May I suggest finding some new traditions with friends that you can start that recapture some of those feelings from childhood? My husband and I have game night with our friends every week and it has brought back some of our childhood joy.
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29-Mar-24 23:50pm
Kirsty H 1016139
That is sad. :( You should reach out to your siblings. Organise a trip or something together. A batch or something not too pricey. Play board games, reminisce. I'm sure they miss you, even in their busy lives. ♡♡♡
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29-Mar-24 23:27pm
LESLEY S 385154
When i was young i lived with my nana. There was a hardly a week go by and she had someone call in to see her how she was. I loved my nana so much I would call in and puck her up, take her shopping or just for a drive or sit and char whatever she would like to do. I am in a retired age now and I dont get to see anyone from week to week and it does get very lonely. Sometimes i just curl up on my couch or bed and go to sleep so i dont have to think about what was happening. It jusr allows me not to have to think about how I feel and just dont bother with eating because my mood gets unhappy.
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29-Mar-24 23:00pm
Elinor D
Hi Alice. I feel for you. It is horrible to have to encounter being alone with no one left who truly belongs to you. I do have family but like yours they are off and away doing their own thing. After a bout of depression I decided I had to something about it so I braved the world and went and joined several senior citizens clubs and took on a volunteering role. I don't know what age you are so that may not work for you, but it was certainly the best thing I have ever done for myself. It has helped me buid up networks of people who are in a similar position and are also looking for companionship. I can almost hear you thinking that this is not the same as having someone who truly belongs to you, and you are right. It is not. Unfortunately that is a stage in life that comes to most of us.I guess if the people we had in the past are not available to us we have to find other people to connect with. Just as you need companionship so do the other people you meet through joining organisations. They will value you company as much as you value theirs. Its taking the first step that is the hard thing but it is worth it.
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29-Mar-24 21:39pm
John 1411099
I've just been ghosted after a 18 month long distance relationship I don't have anyone to talk to but counselors to be able to cope I find it really difficult I have a cat for company and go for walks Edited 29-Mar-24 21:39pm
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29-Mar-24 21:37pm
JANET R 328390
I can understand how hurtful family can be - but don't waste your life wishing things were different. Someone has suggested try seeing if you can visit a nursing home near you and talk to people who are lonely. There are also a lot of Charities that are asking for volunteers and if you are a dog lover - perhaps you could volunteer to walk dogs at a rescue place. If you want anything to change .... it is up to you. Best wishes to you. .
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29-Mar-24 21:07pm
Pato Lo Duck
I don’t have much interaction with my family anymore, and to tell the truth, that is not really a problem, my animals give me nearly all the interaction I need, certainly I know I am needed when they all turn up at the door looking for oats.
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- 29-Mar-24 21:24pm
  JANET R 328390
  I know what you mean re animals. Better company than a lot of humans.
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29-Mar-24 20:05pm
Joy G
I'm happy that I am close to my family and would prefer to have their company than "friends". I had friends for many years and then they move and for no reason they cut me off. My last friend who "dumped" me I wished them a happy birthday and to have a great day. Next thing they cut me off and have not heard from them in over a year. My family are my friends so I feel very fortunate for this.Edited 29-Mar-24 20:06pm
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29-Mar-24 19:48pm
Michael B 384408
Life is what you make it!
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- 29-Mar-24 21:27pm
  JANET R 328390
  I partly agree. But family can be very hurtful and will keep digging up past mistakes. I know a lot of people who are struggling with this.
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29-Mar-24 19:32pm
john 1492050
i can relate so much to this, but what helped me was aligning with the right friends so now we spend most of our holidays together. in my many years of life i have learnt that our friends are the family we get to choose
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29-Mar-24 19:27pm
Rosemary E 383382
"friends are more important than bloody relations" was one thing my Mum was told by my cousin when asked if they wanted to have Christmas with us. Mum promised her Mum that if anything happened to her that she would keep in touch with her. They moved and didn't even let us know.
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29-Mar-24 19:27pm
Paula J 395266
Oh dear. I'm so sorry for you. My parents are both dead and I have no contact nor wish to have with my sibling and sometimes wish I saw less of my family. I wasn't feeling at all well last Sunday but one of my sons turned up with his family, stayed for lunch while I was too ill to eat anything then in the early evening when I could barely keep my eyes open my second sons family turned up. All I wanted was peace and quiet and to be left alone. My son even commented how he cherished the quiet we had when he was a child. I don't feel lonely or depressed and love some alone time. My husband has lost his parents and 5 siblings and while I'm sure he misses them once all were married with their own families relationships change. What is it that your own family isn't giving you that makes you feel lonely? If you are feeling lonely and depressed during holidays why don't you visit a nursing home or aged care residence because I can promise you there are people there who will be far more lonely and depressed than you are feeling. Some of them have no-one, no family and no friends, they feel isolated. They would love someone to visit and provide some company. You might find you make a valuable friendship.
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- 29-Mar-24 21:30pm
  JANET R 328390
  Yes I partly agree with you - but most Nursing Homes have pretty strict rules and it is not that easy to just start visiting people. If you can find one that allows it - a great idea.
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- 30-Mar-24 13:09pm
  Rosemary E 383382
  if you do that as a volunteer in Australia you have to have "a Police Clearance".
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29-Mar-24 19:18pm
Hilary 1486638
See if you conjoin in with what your siblings are doing - don't wait to be invited...initiate the conversation
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29-Mar-24 18:59pm
AuntyMandaBoo
I’m happy on my own, with my dog
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- 29-Mar-24 20:43pm
  Pato Lo Duck
  I’m happy on my own with my 250 goats.. way better than family.. No that’s wrong, those guys are my family now, I birth them, I feed and look after them, give them all names, and affection when they need it, which is all the time, save their lives when they get sick and bury them when they die. Unfortunately all this costs a lot of money and time, so I hope Rewardia will increase its points soon. Edited 29-Mar-24 20:48pm
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- 30-Mar-24 22:52pm
  AuntyMandaBooPato Lo Duck
  250 goats .. I thought 4 horses , 3 cats , 19 chickens and a new puppy was a lot ….!! Lol
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29-Mar-24 18:28pm
debra j 18701
I am not lonely , although all my family had died except for 3 brothers and my nieces and nephews , I am happy to spend my time with my husband I do not talk to anyone else
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29-Mar-24 18:12pm
David 1391347
About time you went to church - you might discover more meaning to your life than your current understanding - enjoy the journey
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29-Mar-24 18:02pm
Catalina
Family. There are big families and small families. Or no family at all. I’m sorry for you and for everybody who feels lonely and not needed. I understand that you miss the joy of being part of a big family. Oh, that’s in the past...
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29-Mar-24 17:59pm
Kerry N 1255344
It can be quite lonely and sometimes sad
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29-Mar-24 17:42pm
Jayne C 315662
My family lives some hours away and my husband died a few years ago from cancer. I have no children. I have actively cultivated relationships with others, some of which have turned into genuine friendships. My holidays look very different now - rich and full. Forgive me, but I struggle to understand why, if you have your own family (as I believe can be interpreted from your comment) you feel lonely. Actively build better relationships with your family - they are your greatest gift. Let go of your siblings who have gone their own way, and develop what you already have.
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- 29-Mar-24 19:28pm
  Paula J 395266
  Good advice Jayne.
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29-Mar-24 17:40pm
gina 1488476
I think if you go out and do something for someone else you feel better inside and you might also make some friends of people feeling the same way as you do - You will feel better and so will someone else
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29-Mar-24 17:20pm
Dimitri T 100433
Have holidays with my wife of 43 years. Suggest get your self a husband
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29-Mar-24 16:35pm
Missy Wyld
be happy in ur own skin. u dont need anyone..find urself some hobbies, like minded ppl..u r mourning the loss of the past that was... if u r not happy within urself, find out why, self love (or lack of) can be an issue....of feeling alone and isolated..have u talked this over with ur family?
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29-Mar-24 16:29pm
Shadowmend 1492001
They say "You can choose your friends but not your family!?"... my response to that is ... "Oh I can choose my family and pick which I want nothing to do with ever again for my sanity. I have friends that treat me 100 times better than my own family.
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29-Mar-24 16:11pm
RODNEY S 668931
Still have a full family parents 91 and 89 this year...see less of them lately. Life is going a million miles an hr
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29-Mar-24 16:06pm
Elizabeth 1354187
I have adult children who now have there own lives but hardly come to visit or call me. I feel lonely most times I have noticed the older I get the less friends I need .
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29-Mar-24 16:04pm
Catherine G 309964
I personally prefer solitude
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29-Mar-24 15:54pm
Edith v
You are not a child anymore you can form other friend ships ,Join a club,befriend elderly people they usually have children
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29-Mar-24 15:36pm
Andrew C 287196
By the end of any holiday period, most people are wishing their extended families would go away and not come back! 😉
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- 29-Mar-24 16:21pm
  Shadowmend 1492001
  😂
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29-Mar-24 15:35pm
Conny 1314879
My MoM passed in 1995, my DaD in 1962. I became closer to my 7 year younger sister since then. My Older sister 2 1/2 yrs older seemed to move away, however, she just reached out to me yesterday for help. Interesting. . .
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29-Mar-24 15:26pm
Roxie 1461867
true
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29-Mar-24 15:15pm
Tiffany L 690503
It doesn’t bother me
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29-Mar-24 14:58pm
Pat C 618241
Yes Alice - when death or family breakups tear the fabric of families it is so much harder for those left to feel happy at occasions like Easter or Christmas. The kids are gone - too wrapped in their own interests to worry about the aunt and uncles left behind.
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29-Mar-24 14:26pm
SweetSugarFoot
My sis does her own thing Aldo. My mother's still alive but let's her bf dictate her every move so lonely I feel a lot.
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29-Mar-24 14:10pm
Robert T 597718
Yes Easter happiness to everyone
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29-Mar-24 13:54pm
Wayne Wilson
My partner went on three trips on his own and the last trip he passed away two days after arriving home.
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29-Mar-24 13:48pm
Campbell C 184664
Cruising is your answer. Start off with a short 9 or so days around the South Pacific...with stopovers at Numea and Vanuatu. Not /that expensive either.Edited 29-Mar-24 13:49pm
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29-Mar-24 13:20pm
Elizabeth J 447888
I came from a family of four and I myself have a family of four. This weekend I have one visitor. I have been observing for years now the different dynamics in families and I have come to believe that families with more females appear to be much closer. Unfortunately I was born into a family if boys. We were so close growing up but as soon as they married that was almost the end of any closeness. When my parents passed that was the complete end. I still recall saying to my sister in law after her wedding that I would be around after the honeymoon to help her unpack the gifts and get organised. Her reply, wait till you are invited. I am still waiting 45 years later. I wasted too many years longing for that feeling of connectedness. Just getting on with it now is my motto. It saves a lot of work not having visitors. Since moving to a regional location I am getting involved in voluntary work and just loving it. I have a friend who has made many friends from playing bingo. Another friend who never had her own family last year volunteered on Christmas Day to help serve a lovely meal to the down and out. She really enjoyed it. There will be something you can find to get you out and about. Around here we have a Soup Kitchen, Shoalhaven NSW, there is a soup kitchen. Silly me assumed that they served only soup, but I now realise that they serve gourmet meals. There is a standard for soup kitchens, the highest standard bring Mother Theresa of Calcutta. That is the standard of St Michael's Soup Kitchen. I heard of a lady who goes there regularly who is believed to wealthy. No one is judged by any standards. This wealthy woman goes there because she is lonely and is most welcome. For me Alice it is the expectation that families should always remain close and I have to admit that it still really upsets me that that is lost. It really upsets me that my children do not know who their cousins are but that is life. Start looking Alice, you will find something to get involved in.
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29-Mar-24 13:14pm
Bugalugs
I suppose I am very Lucky. I was part of a large family, grandparents, parents and all siblings now long dead. My partner of 30 years died 28 years ago and almost all of our friends during those years have also now died. I have been on my own for the last 28 years, I have very occassional contact with the younger members of the family, distance not disputes keeps us apart. That being said, I have never experienced Loneliness, possibly because I embrace it, use it, do not allow myself to think: Poor, little Me, I am all alone. Maybe the answer is to join some club, they are not all Sporting ones if Sport is not, like me, your thing, Do some Volunteer Work. If religious get involved with your church. I never seem to have enough time to do all the things I want to do, yet I am on my own, maybe today I am just a bad Time Manager!Edited 29-Mar-24 13:15pm
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29-Mar-24 12:57pm
Sonya F 68771
Thats me no parents left dont talk to my sister or my daughter move state to be closer to our only grand daughter but have nice neighbours now and go on holidays with my husband
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29-Mar-24 12:56pm
Gaza
I'm all alone when I'm by myself.
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29-Mar-24 12:49pm
Paul B 522937
Join the club the older you get the worse it becomes
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29-Mar-24 12:46pm
Shawn B 1061185
I'm in just about the same boat as you are. My parents have passed, my brothers have passed, and last spring my daughter passed. My two sisters don't talk to me at all. My family completely split before anybody passed. Completely dysfunctional. I have one relative left and she's 84. I guess she'll pass pretty soon as well. Loneliness can be a constant companion if you let it. Just like when you struck out on your own (a couple of years ago ;-) ) strike out again and find what you're missing. Try joining a health club, the local social centre, take a class, go to university or maybe even a political party. Just as you've done all your life find the person(s) that interest you and, as they say in the old country, "Have At It!" You've got nothing to lose since you feel that you've lost everything already, only opportunities to find the one (or two, or more) that you need. This is your project. Don't let it slip by because you're afraid of anything you try not working out. You certainly seem like one of those people that has a lot to share in lots of different areas. JUST DO IT!
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- 29-Mar-24 20:59pm
  Pato Lo Duck
  I look after animals (250 of the hungry, needy little buggers), and also a couple of less fortunate people overseas that needed a bit of help in their lives, that keeps me way more occupied at this stage of my life than I had planned. and also a lot poorer than I had planned…
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29-Mar-24 12:39pm
Wendy Q
I have my mum, but she lives in UK I live in Australia, not seen her since 2013, but we speak every week. My husband's mum lives with his sister on the Sunshine coast and we get to see her once a year.
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29-Mar-24 12:36pm
Merci
Alice, my Mother disowned me the day I married a Catholic man. When my children were young Bob's Catholic parents adored their grandchildren and their love for them was the only grandparents they knew. When my mother was dying my Dad called to ask if I would please come to say goodbye. This was the first contact in 30 years. I drove to their local hospital and stood looking at my very ill mother being kept alive with medical machines and tubes. When she awoke she beckoned me to her bedside and found the energy to spit at me before she passed away that day at 67 years. Clearly she had allowed a non-sensical bias to destroy her state of mind. My beautiful kind darling Dad and I were able to resume our loving friendship after all these years. 10 years on my Dad also passed away and then one of my brothers. What this expereince taught me was that one must be on the best of terms with oneself and able to happily survive without relying on family who have naturally grown apart with their own life experiences, locations and families. I had 3 beautiful children who I did bring up in the catholic faith and now my youngest son is 53 and lives in a different city tho' we keep in touch by phone and he will ocassionally visit me with or without his own family because lives are so busy these days with both parents working to give their children the best start they can; my elder son lives overseas and is in a top corporate position so I rarely see them but also keep in touch by phone and my darling daughter passed away 10 years ago tho' I do chat most days with her daughter during her work breaks, just as I did with my daughter. I wonder if you may be able to make contact with your family by phone and get to know them remotely so that you become part of their families again? It is never too late to reach out. Now in my mid 70s I spend a lot of time on my mobile phone keeping in touch with my grandchildren wherever they are and l know that they value and treasure the time we spend together even tho' we're so far apart. As my husband passed away 3 years ago I now find a great deal of pleasure and solace by gardening. Stay strong and do make an effort to be part of your wider family, I know you will be glad that you have done so. My kindest regards to You.
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29-Mar-24 12:31pm
Jenny L 591463
Well I think the mother is the glue in most families and they make siblings and other family members be apart of each others lives but unfortunately once that has gone it is really hard to get that back. You need to be happy within your self to be a lone, have a clear conscience, find some thing in your area to do like going to the library or the park or a museum. Do some thing for your self and forget the others. Go for a walk along a river if money is an issue which it is mostly these days. Long gone are the days where we had street parties and got to know the neighbours like when I was a kid. Holidays can be a lonely time for some people but I think if you get out and do some thing and met people then the loneliness won't be so bad and it give you a reason to get out of bed and get dressed.
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29-Mar-24 12:25pm
Julie K 348980
You become accustomed to being on your own. My father died when I was four, mum died when I was in my 20s and I never married. My sister and niece live intrastate and have very full social lives so are too busy to catch up for birthdays or holidays when they visit my area each month. I don’t mind my own company.
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29-Mar-24 12:22pm
Jen 1491926
My parents are still alive but live 4.5 hours away, I have 3 adult children & 3 grandchildren the closest of those live 2 hours from me. All of my 3-5 friends do their own thing with thier families for holidays so I either go to work or spend the entire holiday at home with my pets. This has been going on 5 years now every holiday every birthday. I’m not sure how to get past it all.
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29-Mar-24 12:12pm
Kelly 1241969
Yes it’s not the same as when you/we were growing up times have changed people change it is a little disappointing 🙁
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29-Mar-24 11:40am
Pamela P 877367
Totally understand this feeling. Parents were the glue and it’s very sad but I have learned, as a single/never married/no children person to wish my siblings a happy holiday and go on vacation.
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29-Mar-24 11:40am
GRAEME W 313058
Pack your bags and go on an overseas holiday where you can mingle with the locals and make new friends. I visit Bali 2 or 3 Times a year and now have many local friends there.
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- View all 3 replies
- 29-Mar-24 11:43am
  Sandy G 969046
  How fortunate you are to be able to afford this luxury. It can be very lonely if you are unable to travel to be with family or friends, regardless of distance. Enjoy your holiday in beautiful Bali.
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- 29-Mar-24 12:38pm
  GRAEME W 313058Sandy G 969046
  not a luxury, just prioritise my spending
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- 04-Apr-24 03:25am
  Sandy G 969046GRAEME W 313058
  That you can save anything at all is a privilege indeed.
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29-Mar-24 11:13am
Denise C (Qld)
I get it. However it's because we live miles apart. Whenever the opportunity arises we do catch up. My immediate family is closer so I do see them quite a bit. Your loneliness could be eased by joining a club, a church or a volunteering role.
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29-Mar-24 11:06am
Empress
At the moment I have enough to do, and public holidays don't mean much to me. Your kids grow up, and they don't want to be around with old Mum. If I have time I go out to the movies and have a nice meal. Sadly relatives only visit an lonely elderly person when they sniff money and closeness to death. Alice, there are plenty of people like you. Perhaps join a social club and you may find some friends who will become better companions than family.
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29-Mar-24 10:38am
Lawrence 1262145
Thank you Carol S. That is very nice of you. I think social media has killed a lot of personal contact. I don't want to talk to you text me, that is why young people can't solve problems some because they don't know how to talk face to face.Edited 29-Mar-24 10:38am
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29-Mar-24 10:31am
Carol S 657195
I am in the same situation. My siblings and parents are deceased, and I have no children or spouse. There is a family that tries to include me, but because of my anxiety, I'm not able to attend any of their functions. This lady is working for me through a county agency helping with housework, shopping, etc. This agency forbids her to be involved with me in any other capacity which is so stupid. I have no one to take me to doctor appointments, and there are procedures that I need someone to drive me, and I have no one. I can get public transportations, but with my panic attacks, I want to go with someone I'm comfortable with, and that I know cares about me. I'm not just a dog to take to the vet and drop off!!! I was wondering how to find other people in the same situation. Everyone has their own family, and me not having children or a husband puts me in a whole different category. Sometimes I feel like I've failed at life! After my sisters died, I quit seeing my four nephews and their families. They do their own thing even the one who drives by every day to work! His wife doesn't like me so he chose her over what family he has left. It's sad because I don't even have any heirs. I'm stumped as to what to do with what little I have when I'm gone. My oldest nephew did come, and we discussed him being my power of attorney and executor, but he wants nothing. His family has money, and he believes as I do that whoever is here for me should reap the benefits, but I'm not allowed to give them anything which is so stupid! She can't even bring her puppy with her, but she does because that little dog brings me so much joy! She has changed my life! I am blessed to have them in my life, but it's not the same as your own family.
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29-Mar-24 10:31am
Kevin C 1069002
I enjoy the odd holiday on my own, but it is always great to have a family or friend holiday.
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29-Mar-24 10:27am
Jania S
Splits are hard. We all need to be caring towards others, and we always have "caring friends" Unfortunately it takes two to tango. And sometimes we need to find new people to enjoy the Tango. It can be done.
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29-Mar-24 10:15am
Lawrence 1262145
Hey Alice watch Joel Osteen he has some good messages. that should make you feel better.
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29-Mar-24 10:14am
Kim L 88315
My parents and siblings have nothing to do with us sadly. I hate holidays
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29-Mar-24 10:12am
Lawrence 1262145
Holidays are a very hard time even with family.My brother says you don't like somebody and what they said walk away.
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29-Mar-24 10:09am
Ashley 1489701
I stopped caring and learned to be alone
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29-Mar-24 10:05am
Lawrence 1262145
they don't even send cards. I do sometimes because it makes me feel good you know Alice the others in your family have to do some work. Then my cousin says nobody sends cards anymore maybe they are too cheap or lazy. I stopped sending cards and stopped wishing happy birthday because they don't do it. They got too many Tom, dick ,or harry's calling them and or they are involved in too much stuff. So one good turn deserves another. You can't do all the work. My brother and my godson and cousins don't call and they don'tEdited 29-Mar-24 10:06am
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- 29-Mar-24 10:34am
  Carol S 657195
  You're right! Everything has changed these days. When I was growing up, it was all about aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors, and friends. We always had time to help them out, and they did the same. I hate people not sending cards and wishing you a happy birthday or holiday on Facebook! Is it really that difficult? Everyone takes the easy way out which to me doesn't mean much. Besides, Facebook reminds them of your birthday. I do send cards because I enjoy it!
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29-Mar-24 10:00am
Narelle 1491832
No family values anymore
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29-Mar-24 09:55am
Lawrence 1262145
Dear Alice I am sorry for you for that it can really sucks. Maybe you could get together with some friends or there are meetup.com groups where people get together. There is a group in my area where they lost both of there parents and there brothers and sisters are out of town. They end up meeting at a restaurant this Easter for people who don't have family. I am lucky to have a place to go it does get sometimes really dumb and stupid and they str saying stupid things and I get tired of it. I guess I should be glad that I have a place to go. My brother is trying to keep the family together but sometimes I get to the point that I don't care. they don't call ever rarely unless I call. they are all too busy in there own worlds and my nieces don't even call me on my birthday since they have been born. then other people in the family move to another state. e all seem to be way too busy. In my family we have lost a lot of people there is nobody left. My brother is trying to keep it together. There are a couple of churches in my area where they have community dining especially on thanks giving. Maybe you can check out some parishes in your area that have that. It may help. Do you have children and a husband.Edited 29-Mar-24 09:58am
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29-Mar-24 09:38am
doug p 631197
No parents or siblings here, it's just me and the animals. Never had a close family so I wouldn't know what that's like.. I'm alone in the human sense but I'm not lonely. I've got two 40kg lap dogs, usually at the same time due to jealousy and a cantankerous 21.5 year old cat who fill my day with love and companionship. Holidays mean absolutely nothing to me except for a few days in the year when the shops close which can be annoying sometimes. You don't need others to make you happy, you need to make you happy. You know the person you are better than anyone else so do things that make you happy and time flys by. Happiness is within each of us, we just gotta find it and bring it out. For me it's animals, movies, motogp, diy and helping others as much as I can. Write a list of what you like then dwindle it down to what really makes you happy and go from there.. there's many people in your situation so you never know you may end up making some good friends along the way.
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- 30-Mar-24 07:34am
  Bex
  Two 40kg lap dogs? Lucky you're good at DIY, you may need to reinforce your lap at some stage!
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- 31-Mar-24 10:05am
  doug p 631197Bex
  always room for one more 😉
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29-Mar-24 09:11am
Rachelle 1472965
Both of my parents had passed and since we're a very big family we try to stay together with brother and sisters , now we all have our own kids we try to celebrate with them and celebrations are with my siblings at a different time.
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29-Mar-24 09:08am
Brian D 948690
I live in Harrington NSW and we have a very close community and lots of activities for anyone that wants to become involved. We came here without any friends and knew no one. We have a great circle of friends now and make it our mission to ensure others in the community feel as included as we are. My wife even approaches people who come to trivia to see if we can improve their enjoyment of the experience. It takes a little while to make connections, but persevere and hopefully you will feel included in the community too. Or more to Harrington.
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29-Mar-24 08:37am
MoB
Depends on how close you were as a family. If you were not too close then the closeness will fade when your parents die. However, if you join clubs or volunteer you will meet people who are also lonely at holiday times. Invite people you meet volunteering for coffee you'll soon have people around you and you'll feel less lonely.
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29-Mar-24 08:31am
Joy L 68767
My brother and I seem to be a bit closer since Mum died. But it has only been 3 months, so we are still going through things.
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29-Mar-24 08:27am
fred 1412914
my family split also when parents died nobody togeather now
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29-Mar-24 08:27am
Greg T 1041472
Join a sports or community club. Be patient, you will very likely find people in similar situations.
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29-Mar-24 08:25am
Susanne J 766654
Do some volunteering and just get out everyday. Even if you take a book and sit in the park or somewhere nice. Maybe start asking around about dog walking, good way to start a conversation. We have to help ourselves.. Good luck. Where do you live?
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29-Mar-24 08:16am
merricat
My family did the same thing Alice. When my Mom passed away, we stopped getting together for the holidays. It's just sad. My own kids celebrate with their spouses' families. It's been just me, my husband and our dog for 4years.
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29-Mar-24 08:14am
Graham A
First make sure you are eating a good balanced diet and then start a quality exercise regime. Next.....think positive.....you are alive and your situation is not unique...it's just life. Go on a holiday yourself and enjoy the place. Get excited by things. If you have an interest or two maybe join a club and meet some new people. You have to be part of life or it will all come crashing down on you. Don't underestimate my first two points. All the best.
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29-Mar-24 08:12am
EnBird24
Yes your right Alice, I am exactly like you with the same feelings. Many times I really hate the holidays as they are not fun for me. I only have hubby & everyone else do their own thing. Unless I call my brothers over no-one invites you any more. It is really sad as family means alot to me & I don't have it.
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29-Mar-24 08:10am
Steffi 1419059
My heart goes out to you, lovely. Perhaps you are still grieving and that's different for everyone. Look to your friends and invite yourself, perhaps if this was longer than ten years ago, see a doctor. Forgive all your family because they are not responsible for your emotional health, you are. I hope this helps, oh and when my cat was alive, we would have a spoil day for Christmas or whatever. You will get through this, with help. Ask,it works. I'm sending you love and kindness this Easter, you a loved and blessed child. Remember that and talk to your mum and dad about fun memories.
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29-Mar-24 07:45am
kristian s 513441
Not for me because I only spend the holidays with my immediate family and sometime my extended family comes around for the holidays.
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29-Mar-24 07:42am
Barbara H 1175857
most of my family pasted as a child so holidays are just days to me
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29-Mar-24 07:38am
Ram 1380429
I always have family members around me.
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29-Mar-24 07:30am
Roy R 1009866
Alice you are giving the impression that you live by yourself without and children or spouse. First if you are depressed get some medical attention. Then get out there and find a friend or partner that you can share your life with. There are many factors such as age, physical abilities, financial resources, are you working, retired, these may limit you ability to get out there. Answer these questions privately, get help and enjoy what you have left don't dwell on the way your family treats you.
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29-Mar-24 07:29am
Frank K 593543
Use your phone and message friends and siblings. I do meditation which is very peaceful and calming. I also have 6 children who are very close too.
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29-Mar-24 07:26am
Godfrey 1394501
Not for me
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29-Mar-24 07:08am
Kirsten 1469233
I don't have any family in Australia other than my children and they are 21 and 18 so have their own lives. Holidays for me can be very lonely
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29-Mar-24 06:54am
writerrochelle
Oh, Alice, I used to feel the same way! I'm 76 now. My parents, sister and uncles have all died. I still have my 91 year old aunt, but she lives in CA. I used to feel like you...until I studied the Bible with Jehovah's Witnesses. I learned Bible Truths for the first time in my life! I learned where so called "holidays" originated (you'd be surprised!), and suddenly they didn't seem to matter anymore. Please go to jw.org online and ask for a free, home Bible study. Learn the Truth, and it will set you free! There are so many good things ahead, but it's going to get so much worse before it gets better. Please read 2 chapters of the Bible. Psalm 37 and Matthew 24. Pray to Jehovah God to open your eyes and heart to the truth, and all of your loneliness and depression will vanish! Trust me; Trust God! ;-D
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29-Mar-24 06:33am
boy blunder
death, unfortunately, does separate some families we lost 5 people over the COVID-19 years, it does make it tough and I feel for you, people I think avoid you because they have no idea what to say or how to act, distance creeps in and routines change leaving people behind, can i suggest writing letters, making phone calls and let your family know where you are, how you are, hopefully, things work out and new beggings can start I wish you well, i have been through it , I see my brother weekly now instead of every Christmas, because of phone calls sending letters and we have a new beginning he was going through similar troubles when his wife died but is reinvigorated. I hope you have an ok easter and again if you can't call write a letter, even if you don't send it it will serve you well
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- 29-Mar-24 06:41am
  Michelle S 553303
  That was very kind and well said!
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- 29-Mar-24 06:48am
  boy blunderMichelle S 553303
  thank you wishing your easter to be a happy one aswell
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29-Mar-24 06:28am
Carolyn K 714554
Use your phone. if you contact them regularly it is good and they should remember it.
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29-Mar-24 06:23am
david j t
internet has helped to keep contact with relatives
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29-Mar-24 06:08am
Maria B 89860
Sometimes it's best to be grateful and make do with what we have and give our devoted love and attention to them than waste precious moments yearning for the impossible. We only have a very small family out here and we get together a few times a year and keep in touch via skype with the relis overseas.
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29-Mar-24 05:48am
Lana 1491839
Mine split when my grandparents passed away. I have 2 remaining siblings who we used to be close, but they are like strangers now. Our kids have never interacted. It's so sad.
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29-Mar-24 05:45am
JANN R
Idont have my parents either but it does not bother me that I only have myown family I never see my bothers or sister either but it is ok with me I have my kids so thats all I need
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- View all 4 replies
- 29-Mar-24 05:49am
  Kevin L 1010680
  Im sure if you could have your brothers and sisters with you it would make it more complete, and you d feel happier :)
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- 29-Mar-24 06:12am
  Maria B 89860
  Sometimes all we have is all we need .. nothing beats the familiar love and peace of the familiar household happenings .. wishing all the best to you and yours for Easter ... mbEdited 29-Mar-24 09:20am
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- 29-Mar-24 06:39am
  JANN RKevin L 1010680
  I talk to my bothers on the phone but we all live a long way from each other so thats why I dont see them but we keep in touch and thats the main thing happy easter to you
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- 29-Mar-24 06:40am
  JANN RMaria B 89860
  thanks and a happy easter to you and your family
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29-Mar-24 05:41am
Claude H
I am lucky. Although my wife passed away nearly 15 years ago my family have kept in close contact with me even though I am past the use by date at 90. I am truly blessed.
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- 29-Mar-24 06:43am
  Michelle S 553303
  Well I hope that you have a blessed Easter Claude. I have a cat named Claude and I just wanted to wish you well!
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29-Mar-24 05:35am
June C 463374
You aren’t the only person who is lonely like this. I’ve been there done that. This is the pattern of life. You need to occupy yourself with a hobby or go out and make yourself associate with other people like you feel like this and are equally lonely. I used to go for a walk in the fresh air when this loneliness struck me. Found this very helpful. Now as I’ve got older I’m in either garden which is a great help or do some knitting or handcraft which I’ve found very helpful. I had 2 brothers who were both married and after I lost my parents their wives were just so hard to get on with so I joined up with walking and gardening groups to help me through these long lonely days. Now I don’t need anyone in my life and have found myself occupied with these hobbies. It’s very easy to feel lonely but you are the only one who can help yourself. Just remember you are not the only person in the world who is just plain lonely. There are plenty of things you can find to do to keep occupied during these long holidays
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- 29-Mar-24 06:57am
  writerrochelle
  June, I told Alice I used to feel the same way! I'm 76 now. My parents, sister and uncles have all died. I still have my 91 year old aunt, but she lives in CA. I used to feel like you...until I studied the Bible with Jehovah's Witnesses. I learned Bible Truths for the first time in my life! I learned where so called "holidays" originated (you'd be surprised!), and suddenly they didn't seem to matter anymore. Please go to jw.org online and ask for a free, home Bible study. Learn the Truth, and it will set you free! There are so many good things ahead, but it's going to get so much worse before it gets better. Please read 2 chapters of the Bible. Psalm 37 and Matthew 24. Pray to Jehovah God to open your eyes and heart to the truth, and all of your loneliness and depression will vanish! Trust me; Trust God! ;-DEdited 29-Mar-24 06:59am
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29-Mar-24 05:32am
John 1411099
I came through a rough divorce it may not have much to do with parents or siblings but I have no friends and recently separated
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29-Mar-24 05:32am
Paul W 383502
I still have my Dad at 99 and my siblings and my wife are still around, but I still feel lonely occasionally.
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29-Mar-24 05:21am
Darla T
Make your own traditions irrespective of former family ties by doing something memorable whether it includes just you or a small group of friends. Don't dwell on what you do not have because in reality you have much, much more than you think. Celebrate that and look for the things that spring brings like new life, new experiences, new relationships, new possibilities that you can pursue rather than focusing on what you think you do not have. Give back to others, focus on them, be a blessing. They may be worse off than you!
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29-Mar-24 05:13am
KaysNSW
Unfortunately I feel like that daily and the holidays just make it all the harder to deal with it, I grew up in Foster care system and was separated from my younger siblings and shifted around a lot so never made close friends and family became a foreign country and holidays and happy interactions and relationships become a dirty word or something I never got. Spent 35 years now trying to find where I belong and real relationships/friendships that last but they never did so I have literally been cut off from the world and everything else for as of last month 4 years. Pretty good when my only fun is playing bingo on here 🥴 lol. Hope everything changes asap and you find all the love and happiness and magic you deserve in life 🙏🏼Edited 29-Mar-24 05:14am
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- View all 6 replies
- 29-Mar-24 06:53am
  Michelle S 553303
  That was kind of you to say especially since you yourself have had a difficult life, but sometimes that makes you a more empathetic person! Do you actually live in NSW? I ask this because I do! I grew up in a family, mum, dad, younger brother but I never felt close to my brother and sadly he's been gone for almost 5 years now. I don't see or speak to his ex wife and his son and daughters as their lives are vastly different from mine but I did have a good relationship with my mother and a difficult one with my father who is now a very cantankerous 84 year old man. I don't know how I would feel in your position but I AM sorry that you were unable to grow up in your family of origin for whatever reason that was. I'm 20 years divorced and although I love my adult children and they me, they are busy with their own lives and I don't see them much but I'm OK with that. I have 6 cats and I have turned into the proverbial "cat lady" but they give me joy and love and I am grateful! Keep playing that bingo and take care of yourself!
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- 29-Mar-24 07:00am
  writerrochelle
  KaysNSW, I wrote to others that I used to feel the same way! I'm 76 now. My parents, sister and uncles have all died. I still have my 91 year old aunt, but she lives in CA. I used to feel like you... until I studied the Bible with Jehovah's Witnesses. I learned Bible Truths for the first time in my life! I learned where so called "holidays" originated (you'd be surprised!), and suddenly they didn't seem to matter anymore. Please go to jw.org online and ask for a free, home Bible study. Learn the Truth, and it will set you free! There are so many good things ahead, but it's going to get so much worse before it gets better. Please read two chapters of the Bible. Psalm 37 and Matthew 24. Pray to Jehovah God to open your eyes and heart to the truth, and all of your loneliness and depression will vanish! Trust me; Trust God! ;-DEdited 29-Mar-24 07:02am
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- 29-Mar-24 11:43am
  KaysNSWMichelle S 553303
  hahaha I would literally die if I didn't have my cat 😅, Lol I do live in NSW. I get that Too I have a recently turned 18 year old daughter who is so far away even when she's here and a 13 year old son who was so little and cute 5 minutes ago and now is taller than a basketball player and I'm the worst most embarrassing Mum ever until he wants something. Lol but they're great wouldn't change them but unfortunately due to the other half of them we didn't have a great big adventurous and good close happy family unit for a long time either but they are slowly understanding that they had what counts and that was 1 parent who would and did move mountains to keep them safe and never missed out etc. But now that I have absolutely no body in my life except them and whoever serves me at the smoke shop 😅 my depression anxiety and PTSD has skyrocketed and 4 years single and sober for first time since I was 9 years old I'm to afraid to even try and make a friend or relationship. 35 years old and feeling like I'm 90 missing a few cats but ❤️
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- 29-Mar-24 11:46am
  KaysNSWwriterrochelle
  I used to be like you telling people that God helps but after everything I've been through and seen I don't believe anything and if he is real then I'm sorry but he is a cruel and horrible being.
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- 29-Mar-24 14:29pm
  Michelle S 553303KaysNSW
  Hi again Kay and I'm so glad that you have a cat! They really are great companions and are known for reducing blood pressure and stress. I understand when you're talking about PTSD and depression as I have suffered from those 2 in the past and even today some days are better than others. Both my daughters suffer from anxiety and the older has BPD and the younger one OCD++ and it is tough seeing them that way and knowing their suffering but only able to empathise but not physically take their pain away. My only grandchild is now 19 and my daughter and he lived with me for the first 10 years and I helped raise him. I worked as an RN at my local hospital and I was a few minutes late on several occasions due to him not falling asleep and having to read MULTIPLE books to get him to sleep as my daughter was only 18 then and unable to parent him on her own. Unfortunately he too has an anxiety disorder and although I think it's fine to use pot as an adult and use different THC or cannabinoids for pain relief and other physiological disorders, I DO worry about his usage as his brain hasn't finished developing yet and won't stop until he's 25. I just hope that it doesn't make things worse for him later on but he's legally an adult, like your daughter, and makes these choices for himself. Billy was ALWAYS getting embarrassed if I did or said something that wasn't "cool" when he was growing up but so did my own 5 children feel like I was THE most embarrassing mother EVER! I'm glad that you have a good relationship with your kids and by working for several years in Drug and Alcohol Detox and Methadone Dosing I met many people like yourself who have battled demons from their past and present with alcohol and drugs and although I couldnt change their lives for them, and some had truly awful childhoods and I would probably do what they did if it was me, I'm happy for you that you are clean now and congratulations because it's tough to stay clean for that long! I remember one female client especially and I haven't forgotten the things she shared years later and her PTSD was truly awful. I'm glad that you have gotten used to being without a partner too because I've seen some disastrous relationships occur because someone felt lonely and although its an individuals choice to make sometimes it merely complicates issues! Take care now Kay and all the best to you and your children!
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- 29-Mar-24 15:54pm
  writerrochelleKaysNSW
  I'm sorry you feel that way. You have to understand, in a nutshell, that because Adam and Eve sinned, mankind inherited sin, Jesus died for us to remove sin, Satan is ruling the world, Not God, but soon Jesus will return, remove evil, and righteousness will fill the earth, which will become the paradise it was meant to be. Please, at least read Psalm chapter 37, if nothing else. I care about you, honestly, and I'm trying to relieve your pain. Rochelle
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29-Mar-24 04:55am
Bex
Sorry to hear you've lost both of your parents, Alice. I'm about to lose my Dad to cancer, and like you, my family is very fractured. Unfortunately, you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people. Get yourself a cat or a dog. It's great to have a pet, particularly in times of loneliness or solitude. I wish you all the best, and I hope things turn around for you soon. x
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29-Mar-24 04:41am
Barbara H 1073102
Well, you do have your own family. Sad that isn't enough for you.
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