Discussion of the Day
I would never change my surname if I got married
Johana C21-Aug-20
Women who change their surname when they get married are subservient to men. I mean your maiden name is part of your identity. And to just throw it away willy-nilly, I think is disgraceful!
Comments
  • Holly Cat
    I didn't change my name, but am ok with people who want to. It's up to the person.
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    • Joe B 288252
      What if we all kept every name, think if Miss Mavis Borth-Avrille-Landon married Mr Dickie Lathen-Simeon-Yoike then imagine this. “Oh my God Agnes!” Maurice ejaculated, “it’s those little B-A-L-L-S-Y horrors again. Quickly, hide the lamingtons”
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      • Linda C
        Such a silly thing to say. You can change your name or not or hyphenate both names and sometimes even the husband takes the wife's name. It is just a name and it means your children have an identity to both of you. This does not make either of you subservient. My grandfather was Danish and they never took a surname per se but they were named peterson or petersen for instance which means son of Peter. A daughter might be named mettedatter which means daughter of mette and so on. I tried to do my ancestry and thankfully I had help from a Danish person who helped me go through records. Luckily the family had all lived in the same village going back to the early 1400's. In the late 1800's the country decided they need to have a surname that continued on down the line to stop the confusion.
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        • Ivan S 396292
          Why complicated. Couples have to choose one surname.
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          • View all 3 replies
          • LEANNE B 221779
            Why? They are still individuals
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          • Ivan S 396292LEANNE B 221779
            Yes they are still individuals after marriage, but with lots of adjustments and changes and this is one of them.
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          • LEANNE B 221779Ivan S 396292
            It doesn’t have to be all the adjustments to change your name is exhausting and full of red tape easier to keep it but of course you being the Man don’t have to worry about all that.
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        • Jessica N 159444
          I think its silly if you dont. You are a family now and you should have the same name. It seems incomplete.
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          • LEANNE B 221779
            Why does it always have to be the female giving up her name though?
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          • Jessica N 159444LEANNE B 221779
            Thats how it is. Its because the woman would leaver her family. Its all tradition
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        • Henry W 362692
          My wife changed her name 56 years and she has no regrets at all,very happy with her new name.
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          • Priscilla R 316016
            Sometimes its a wonderful way out of the name you had and some people really want to be known as the Mrs of someone
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            • Ducky
              I changed my name 45 years ago. seemed the natural thing to do at time and I have no regrets
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              • APB
                What's in a name ...a rose would smell as sweet by any other...sounds familar?
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                • Alice
                  Up to each person when they get married
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                  • Aisha A 379399
                    I never did because I'll always be my dad's daughter.
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                    • Bugalugs
                      What's in a name? if you are so concerned and really believe that women are still subservient to men then join both surnames with a hyphen. I really think the world is becoming far to politically correct and people are now afraid to open their mouths to speak their truth because sure as hell someone will accuse them of being sexist, racist or any other -ist you can think of. Relax, smell the roses and get over yourselves. Did you see the latest bit of noinsense coming from the Federal Govt? You will no longer be allowed to use Mr, Ms, Miss, Mrs, Master or Mistress (unless into BDSM) you all now have to use the non-gender identifying "Mx"! Also you are not allowed to refer to anyone which indicates their gender - He, She are out and in comes It, They. I have never heard such nonsense in my life and to think our grossly under-worked, over-paid politicians are using our money to bring in these absurd changes!
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                      • Louisa W
                        I changed my surname 26 years ago as it was a natural thing for me to do.
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                        • Anissa D 112045
                          Some people want to change them coz it makes there name sound better. An image thing perhaps. I guess there are ones they do it for love to show their devotion. Some keep both names. Up to the individual
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                          • Victoria 315341
                            It is the way it has always been.
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                            • Jasmyne M
                              When I married my husband I kept my surname but I choose his last name for my children but my husband has passed away
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                              • TERRIE K
                                I was very happy to change my surname to my husbands. I didn't even have to think about it. Whether you change your name or not does not mean you are subservient to your partner.
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                                • Sharyn W 102987
                                  rot
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                                  • Sandra H 83178
                                    Being older never crossed my mind not to take my husbands surname
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                                    • Chuckles
                                      Poor Johana,I am woman hear me roar because she's such a bore!
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                                      • Chuckles
                                        Already married.
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                                        • Paul J 94868
                                          Not planning on marrying a bloke..
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                                          • Leanne B 76015
                                            I am who I am it doesn’t matter what my name is
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                                            • Dena G 246689
                                              My married name was easier to spell and say and people got it right. Now back to my maiden name and people can't pronounce it lol. I don't believe it is a subserviant thing to take on your husbands name but it should be a choice.
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                                              • Barbara T
                                                I have kept my initial married name (re: taxation purposes etc. etc.) when I married for the second time and go by either name depending on who wants to know. No biggy either way..........
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                                                • Sonya F 68771
                                                  My married name is easier to spell and say
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                                                  • Margarret F
                                                    we did not know we could keep our own names legally - I found out a long time later
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                                                    • Linda C
                                                      You can go back to your maiden name any time. You just have to produce your birth certificate, marriage certificate and divorce certificate if you have one.
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                                                  • Patman Newcastle
                                                    It's only a name that people can identify you by.
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                                                    • Kristina L 134251
                                                      I did! I changed my whole name completely lol
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                                                      • Maureen G-Melb.Vic.
                                                        Who really cares
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                                                        • Ang
                                                          why are we talking about this who really cares
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                                                          • Catalina
                                                            I kept my name when married. The other choice would have been totally lose my name, and called after my husband’s full name, adding a little suffix. So only the people who knew me by my first name, could recognise me by name in writing. Strange tradition. Now, people have more choice, but I think names are important, so we have to value them. Nothing to do with grace.
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                                                            • Joe B 288252
                                                              Poor Johanna, getting married does not diminish anyone. It grows everyone and women certainly are not subservient. Some choose to be traditional and others choose to use their first family name. After marriage they can have two and it’s their choice
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                                                              • Margaret C 77490
                                                                It up to the woman if she wants to change her maiden name
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                                                                • Daniel A 2
                                                                  It's just for old time sake, really it is completely any ones choice. My wife didn't change hers for in Indonesia every member of the family has a different second name, hers means Jade Angel.
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                                                                  • Gaza
                                                                    I'm a man and wouldn't, I think a woman should though if married. If she doesn't why get married in the first place.
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                                                                    • Kristina L 134251
                                                                      Ridiculous as the Maiden name comes from a man anyway.
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                                                                      • Katzeye
                                                                        Nonsense! Lol...I have a friend who recently got married and her husband took her maiden name as his surname,true story!
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                                                                        • Kathy W 124246
                                                                          I believe it was rather appropriate to change your name- adter all you were getting married n loved n respected everything in that marriage proposal My maiden name was one i wanted to forget as very a very common name n abused named through wars " kraut" But can't say nowadays about name changing as most live in sin
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                                                                          • Anneliese
                                                                            If I were to marry I wouldn't change it. My last name is really rare, I like it. Its why our child has both our last names. So all 3 of us now have different last names!
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                                                                            • CHERRY BLOSSOM
                                                                              I wanted to change my surname when i got married for the second time,why would i want to keep my e-x husbands surname when he was so abusive.
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                                                                              • SANDRA G 394859
                                                                                TAKE IT LEAVE IT I ALWAYS HAD TO SPELL MY MAIDEN NAME TO EVERY ONE NOW I HAVE TO SPELL MY MARRIED NAME BIG DEAL
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                                                                                • Beverley S 383001
                                                                                  This is rubbish! It is a woman's choice whether to keep her name or change it to that of her husband. It has nothing to do with subservience. Our name is a combination of our two names - this was suggested before our marriage by my fiancé and he changed his by deed poll ahead of the wedding so we both used it from that day onwards.
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                                                                                  • Joy L 68767
                                                                                    I chose to take my husbands name when we got married. I wanted our children to have the same surname as there father and mother. I am not subservient to my husband at all, we have a partnership and have had for 40 years. Some of the strongest women I know are married and took their husbands surnames.
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                                                                                    • Sandra C 12043
                                                                                      Do whatever you choose. It's up to you what you do in consultation with your intended partner.
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                                                                                      • Heather D 322912
                                                                                        It's not mandatory. Like most things in life it's about making a choice you are happy with.
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                                                                                        • Maree C 80174
                                                                                          when I got married 50 years ago it was the done thing to change your surname to your husband name
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                                                                                          • Paul B 88412
                                                                                            I'm already married and if I was to remarry I would decide then
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                                                                                            • misfortune8
                                                                                              I'm single by choice, but I'd never change my surname! Maybe if a man wanted to change his name to mine, that would be OK. I happen to have a cool surname - people often ask me if I was born with that name or did I change it, but I was born with it.
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                                                                                              • Yiing S
                                                                                                This is a trivial matter.
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                                                                                                • Robin L 79437
                                                                                                  I was very proud to take my husbands name, and now I am a widow I still keep his name.
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                                                                                                  • Mary M 329762
                                                                                                    I married and didn't change my last name. I keep my father last name and i am happy. My husband understood why i keep my last name is my father. In the end a last name is just a name. If you want to change or not its up to boths.
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                                                                                                    • Mariaj
                                                                                                      This I a tradition the majority of us are brought up with and don’t know any different, but it’s not actually by-law you have to change it...
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                                                                                                      • robinr c
                                                                                                        i'd keep my namr
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                                                                                                        • James B 70778
                                                                                                          where do you guys get this Bull smit from.
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                                                                                                          • Anwyn W
                                                                                                            With you Walter W. Have been married 40 years but still have the name I was born with - my choice! But I answer to Mrs X... when politic (dealing with tradesmen, etc), and my mother always addressed mail to my hyphenated surname. Flexible, Johana, not subservient!
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                                                                                                            • Robert nsw
                                                                                                              it depends some people can not wait to change there name
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                                                                                                              • Bettina 157818
                                                                                                                Depends on the person, I took my husband's last name it suits me just fine. No servant here, I am his wife period!!
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                                                                                                                • Valerie J 424116
                                                                                                                  My name is valjacob
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                                                                                                                  • Lara G 78175
                                                                                                                    I think it is special and exciting to use your partner’s name but to keep yours as well so a double barrel name would be good
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                                                                                                                    • Christine M 323842
                                                                                                                      Yeah it is weird. You’re known as one thing all your life then your known as something else. Why doesn’t the man change his last name to the woman’s?
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                                                                                                                      • LEANNE B 221779
                                                                                                                        Agree it’s the 21st century and women are still becoming Mrs and taking their husbands name. It’s just ridiculous we should never have the titles is my main thing Mrs and Miss should not exist. It’s Mr for men it should be Ms for women. And anyone one here that says there is nothing wrong with it or it’s being ultra feminist. No it just makes equality sense why should people know if a female is married but not a male. By all means change your name if you like his name better - I did hated my old surname - completely voluntary it should be, but please drop the Mrs. I cannot stand it when someone calls me as Mrs.....
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                                                                                                                        • misfortune8
                                                                                                                          I'm a Ms & I hate being called Mrs, too!
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                                                                                                                      • Luna
                                                                                                                        Subservient to men? Traditionally a woman did take their husbands surname as she was considered his property. The husband would also take over any lands and monies that came with the marriage. But that was in the past. Today women have the the choice to either keep their surname, hyphenate or take their husbands surname (just as Walter W said). So I don't see how you can accuse women of being subservient today. You can have your opinion but you are essentially calling other women disgraceful if they decide they want to take their husbands surname.
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                                                                                                                        • Maria B 89860
                                                                                                                          Bad choice of wording "willy-nilly" and hyphenated at that! I really don't know now just how to respond lest it turn into a long rambling on!
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                                                                                                                          • Charles V 383433
                                                                                                                            Johana C, I think you are mistaken. Women are not subservient to men just because they change their surname when married. It's called LOVE.
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                                                                                                                            • BLACK LIVES MATTER
                                                                                                                              A women has three options concerning her surname (when getting married). Keep her surname, hyphen her surname with her husband surname, or take her husband surname. A decision each bride makes on her own - without any undue pressure (supposedly)!
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                                                                                                                              • Disie
                                                                                                                                Depends on the surname
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                                                                                                                                • Claire L 349406
                                                                                                                                  Haha that was a decider for me. My husbands surname was shorter, is common and doesn’t take ages to double check over the phone.
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                                                                                                                                • Priscilla R 316016
                                                                                                                                  Like Claire L this was a real decider for me - having to spell my surname all the time was just so awful - now I only have three letters fir them to understand [and they still get it wrong] can you imagine how awful it was with 9 letters!
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