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No amount of money can buy a parents love and affection and some parents need a reality check!...When I was younger in my childhood and early teen days my Dad used to lavish my brother and I with gifts and money but never ever was he there for either of us and all we wanted was his support and love but he was too busy with his sex drugs and rock and roll lifestyle to worry about us.

It depends on the kid and their personality. Sometimes people need to learn to act independently. Sometimes they genuinely need help and that's when attention is warranted. Of course it's important to care for your children, love them and give quality time. Just don't spoil them.

I think sometimes parents just don’t know how to approach a topic so they find it easier to dismiss the issue until they can find a solution.

I'm not entirely sure what you are talking about...but it sounds like you were short changed...and I am so very sorry for that...and I hope you are OK...parents should always be there for you all the time...it is not an option...I cannot understand anyone who ignores this....

Very well done

Kids need you & your love & affection not money

Parents do not want to parent today. The other day I heard a so-called expert telling parents how to handle their children. He said on no account are they to smack and he wants it made a crime. He said it's up to parents to remove anything dangerous from the children's lives such as anything sharp, hot, high and keep them well away from roads. In other words teach them nothing, stoves and toasters aren't hot, you'll fall and hurt yourself if you climb on the chair, and cars, bikes and buses will kill you if they hit you. Not one stupid parent asked about teaching children about dangers and hazards, they all nodded in agreement. Talk about cotton wool children. I tell my grandchildren to leave the cats alone because they will scratch. One got hissed at and another got a scratched finger. Guess what, nanna was right.

I agree The close bond you develope in those years gives a closer bond as the children get older.Money is the last thing on kids minds.It's Mum & Dad they want & need

Parents need to sit down and have a talk with there children see what problem is.

My father was absent for the first six years of my life due to a world War. When he returned he was a physical and mental mess. As the 1st I did know him before he left. Luckily I had the love and care of my maternal grandparents until Dad arrived home. He decided I needed to be reigned in. He considered our home was our castle and as my siblings arrived we were never allowed to fraternize with the neighbours. I can truthfully say I have been lonely all my life until I picked my own partners.

Happy Families? What a sad joke!

firstly children need to be wanted, not have them, just for the sake of having them, harming them with abuse, Children need to have a stable family consisting of a Mother and father figure, to trust and to make them feel wanted safe, and loved. As parents need to be there for our children, spend time with them, teach our children important values, guide them, and give them a chance to express their thoughts and feelings, encourage "yes" there will be disagreements to deal with, that come and go. Although one thing is for sure parents are there for life, it's about teaching your children to appreciate the hard work and sacrifices it takes to give them a life done surrounded by love.

I think you hit the nail right on the head. Unfortunately, considering the financial times we have been/are in, parents may not be able to be there. Rent/mortgages, food, clothes, school supplies, are all costs that have to be met. The list is endless. Some parents have never been able to "be there" for all kinds of different reasons. Perhaps we could look at some kind of block parent scheme to help kids along a better path?

exactly!

I AGREE SO TRUE

I stopped loving my kid as much as I do, and transferred a lot to my grandchildren. Have never dismissed my kids until bed time

i agree with you wholeheartedly Jenessi C, don't lie to them, and be there for them,, nice poll, ;-))

you know what really pysses me off, people that reply to polls with a totally inappropriate, politically inspired, not pertaining to the question country dividing answer,, how many folks are tired of seeing this kind of crap

Not the Liberals who insist that all parents should return to work 30 seconds after the baby is born and never mention it again as they must contribute to the Economy and giving the kids to others to bring up and look after while the parents are at work is the best way to proceed.

Yes indeed :-)

Well I would have been there for my children but they were denied from me by the ex beep beep beep. They are now grown up adults and I am utterly disappointed by them, I wish to God I never had them. My parents aren't much longer on this earth and do they bother calling them NO, do they see them once in a while NO. Been brain washed to hate ME and my side of the FAMILY. So NO what ever you're on about I do not agree with at all. Call me what ever you want because it's a big fat ZERO of caring from me.

theres no book on parenting you go with your instinces

No you need money to live every one tryst there best stuff it if it not good enough for someone else

We were good parents teaching our children right from wrong and then one of my children did a very bad thing to us and now I have only one child I talk too, its not always the parent fault

you are right. The bond between the parents and their childrens can NOT be compare with money

My first marriage produced 2 kids, I moved to another state after a divorce. I MISSED them growing up and lost contact with them. My daughter contacted me when she was 17 & we've been writing to each other since. She's now 52 and we will be reunited soon. Can't wait.

absolutely right , i am not a parent but i completely salute your comments!

Absolutely. Too many kids are growing up in a world without the love and nurturing of someone who is consistently present. Those first 1000 days are the most important time in a babies life. It's so sad and explains a lot as to why youth offending is on the rise! ??

Today, unfortunately, it now all boils down to Greed. Couples today are no longer content to have a modest house, an older model car and all the trappings of wealth. They insist they both must have jobs which pay them hundreds of thousands every year. They don't have children, they have Trophy Kids which they trot out every now and then, children they have had almost nothing to do with because as soon as they can the farm them out - some as young a One Year Old - to strangers to rear for them, and then they start complaining that "Child Care costs almost as much as I earn and therefore "The Government" - read TAXPAYERS - should subsidize those costs" Why should Taxpayers have to give these high-earning parasites what amounts to a Multi-Thousand Dollar Pay Rise? If you choose to breed than you should bring up your own children. Teach them Respect, Honesty and that if they want something they have to work for it themselves and not expect other to give their Taxes to support them. We get so sick of hearing people complaining that their children have been taken away from them, been stolen - use whatever description you like. If your children are taken away from you that is YOUR Fault, no-one else's. So often we see and hear of reports of children living in squalor, without food and clean clothing and what are the so-called parents doing? Drinking, Drugging and doing nothing other than complain that their children have been taken away from them and that that is unfair. Give us a break!

Proactive parenting, which means mother, father, extended family/whanau is certainly contributes to children’s holistic well-being, and this starts from conception. I know this now after 15 years as an early childhood teacher, and a grandparent, however my son’s were present in a family with addiction. So yes I agree always being there/present for children is paramount. Working through issues together, with unconditional love is of utmost importance. Knowing where and who to ask for help and guidance as a parent, is also crucial. Take responsibility for the decision you made to become a parent, it doesn’t go away, it is a lifelong commitment, the most important decision you will ever make!

I feel that you shouldn't have children unless you are going to be there for them. I was a single mum and refused to work until they were school age.

Children always need the love and guidance of their parents, so it is very important to be present for them. Listen to what they say, as it is always important to them. My wife was a stay-at-home mum, and i found it did a lot to their upbring. Love is earnt by showing that you care andare present for your children when they need you.

If you do for your young children now, you will have them for the rest of your life. You do not own your children. They are loaned to you to bring them up knowing respect and confidence. That way they can go out in the world and hopefully make the right choices.

I don't understand why people have children now if they are going to put them in someone else's care. Poor kids don't know their parents. No wonder there is no disipline now and kids go wild.

i agree

Yes, children Ike all people are wired for relationships with the relationship to their mother and father at the core of life. Kids find it hard when their friends get lots of toys etc. This happened with our girls but we told them that what is most important is the relationships in the family. Now that they are adults they see and understand the importance of this and are teaching their children that relationships are more important than having things.

well said, they have no idea of the world we have created for them

I agree.

I always listened to my children they were my priority. Helped them through difficult times with understanding and guidance. We are still very close now that they are adults and have children of their own. I still get the occasional phone call when they are having a difficult time with their children for some advice.

Never be dismissive to your children. You wanted them. They are yours! You need to parent them. Teach them right from wrong. Listen to them. Give them advice from your history with the same topic. Explain why you think it’s right or wrong. Also explain the possible future outcomes. Children are young no matter what their age. They are always younger than you and if you have brought them up as best you can, they will listen to you because YOU HAVE LISTENED TO THEM. What goes around comes around.

I wouldn't let money raise my children. That said, I couldn't raise my kids without money.

Be there for your children, love them, teach them well, they grow up so fast.

what is happening to this generation - I live beside my great grandson and I just love the way his parents spend so much time with him - the way they play with him (he is just over one year old) brings me so much joy. i remember my days we were so busy (no throw away nappies) cleaning, making their clothes and preparing food for the babies we just didn't have the time to spend with them. As I watch my grandson and his wife I think about how much I missed in my day, but I'm making it up now with this delightful little boy.

I wasn't aware this was a thing........swapping parenting for money.

I agree, and as a family my wife and I prioritise quality experiences with our kids and also with each other.

Being there for your kids is being a parent. I missed a lot of my kids growth due to work, biggest mistake ever, can never get that time back.

Peoples think they knows they child. I meets a lady was happy used her money at the shop with the kids. I said go to the park. They don't want park but shop. But the child said i want to go park. She didn't understand her childs. As once i was a child i hate shop but love going to the park. Park is amazing with a picnic on the side. We needed family time. As kids are small short terms. Family we all need

Agree a present parent is the optimum but a quality present parent is better! You can be providing financially for your children and be giving the quality time and attention.

My children (now in their mid to late forties) tell me that what they remember as being best about their childhood was that I was home!

yes, i agree, my parents were too busy to listen to me or pay attention and i never felt i had any value. struggle with self worth to this day.

I grew up with older parents and after having six kids before me. They were tired. Did not have much time for me. My sister is who looked out and after me. I agree parents should always listen to their children. I am a single mother and my son feels comfortable talking to me about anything. Even If it is something we are both uncomfortable discussing

It is definitely true

so true.

I agree totally! The best investment a parent can make is through spending quality time with their children.

I am not sure, but you should listen to your children and other people then make a judgement call on all effects.

I am not a parent (too much latent criminal behavior in me - which was a struggle for me to keep under control - would have set a very bad example for my children - yet - I retired from civil service employment). Hence, I cannot relate to the above scenario you described! However, I would have taken a million dollars over my parents (in a cardiac moment) - anytime - anywhere - under any circumstances - when I was a child!Edited 10-Dec-22 01:27am

Agree no parent is perfect but they get guilt laden upon their heads for years. You can never always be present either. We all do the best we can. Most have to work as well as keep house, shop, housework, etc. Kids when they reach teen years can be hard going. They can be rude, demanding, and spiteful. I feel that being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Time to stop telling them they are doing a bad job.

TOTALLY AGREE.

Very true!!!!!!